Sunday, December 29, 2013

Friday Funnies, On Sunday


A Blond's Year in Review

January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels ... Helllloooo!! ... bottles won't fit in printer!!

March
Got really excited ... finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months ... box said '2-4 years!'

April
Trapped on escalator for hours ... power went out!

May
Tried to make Kool-Aid ... wrong instructions ... 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!

June
Tried to go waterskiing ... couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition ... learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!

August
Got locked out of her car in rain storm ... car swamped because soft-top was open.

September
The capital of California is 'C' ... isn't it?

October
Hate M & M's ... they are so hard to peel.

November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days ... instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!

December
Couldn't call 911 . 'duh' ... there's no 'eleven' button on the stupid phone!


A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.  She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house.

A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, 'Is something wrong?'

To which she replied, 'There certainly is!'
'My stupid computer keeps saying... YOU'VE GOT MAIL!'
at

27 comments:

  1. Jus SayinDecember 29, 2013 at 2:10 PM

    74 today in Az

    ReplyDelete
  2. chronos the wonder pigDecember 29, 2013 at 4:20 PM

    only 73 South of Disney Land......

    ReplyDelete
  3. Old (cold) ArachnidDecember 30, 2013 at 7:56 AM

    It's 24 (windchill 13) here in the Peoples Republic of NYC today, but the sun is out.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousDecember 30, 2013 at 9:04 AM

    Cloudy,just above freezing and at work.

    ReplyDelete
  5. SchteveoDecember 30, 2013 at 12:31 PM

    Good Friday Funny!

    Overcast, 53 is the High thus far, trying to rain. Personally, I'd like some of that 24 degree stuff, to kill all the fire ants in my yard / garden / fruit tree areas.

    ReplyDelete
  6. alanDecember 30, 2013 at 3:15 PM

    clear and 53 in the high desert. Not going to work till 16 Jan, unless some school teachers don't show up....then I get to sub.

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousDecember 31, 2013 at 5:25 AM

    Remember: Hard work pays off after time, procrastination pays off immediately!

    ReplyDelete
  8. SchteveoDecember 31, 2013 at 1:05 PM

    Cowpill,
    I may get that tattooed on my forehead, in reverse, so I can see it first thing every morning.

    ReplyDelete
  9. No Shit ManDecember 31, 2013 at 1:39 PM

    Had to ids the A/C in the car today. Jus Sayin

    ReplyDelete
  10. Roger Water PootDecember 31, 2013 at 6:32 PM

    One day older
    and
    another day closer to death

    ReplyDelete
  11. Snorpht FloydDecember 31, 2013 at 6:34 PM

    Happy New

    ReplyDelete
  12. eatmeDecember 31, 2013 at 8:34 PM

    year

    ReplyDelete
  13. SpiderJanuary 1, 2014 at 8:14 AM

    I wish you all have a very happy, healthy, safe, and prosperous New Year.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Munky ButtJanuary 1, 2014 at 12:25 PM

    and death to all Marxist Muslims.

    ReplyDelete
  15. chronos the wonder pigJanuary 1, 2014 at 3:57 PM

    hope all y'all got properly signed up for Urkel Care......

    ReplyDelete
  16. Dr PootsJanuary 2, 2014 at 11:56 AM

    No, but I just ordered 1000 rnds of 45 ammo. Does that count?

    ReplyDelete
  17. Pooter Shooter and Baby GurlJanuary 2, 2014 at 12:05 PM

    Great big fury pooh balls. Dis ish getting derickulous. It's 74 and not a cloud again. Of course I'm sitting outside with a Bud and cleaning my guns.. and the kids Walther we shot on Monday.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Poot Wad Lapper FukJanuary 2, 2014 at 12:08 PM

    Jus sayin........ EAT ME !

    ReplyDelete
  19. EAT MeJanuary 3, 2014 at 10:09 AM

    Thank God,a change in the weather. Going to be 76 today.

    ReplyDelete
  20. SHit inda MouthJanuary 5, 2014 at 10:13 AM

    Time to Screw the Bitches....


    Uhh, I mean Do the Dishes

    ReplyDelete
  21. Poots O BoeingJanuary 5, 2014 at 11:02 AM

    Boeing Union chicks out.

    Those overpaid Liberal Lap Dogz.

    Piss on Washington State. Should have gone to Williams Gateway in AZ.

    Punthies

    ReplyDelete
  22. Jus SayinJanuary 5, 2014 at 1:28 PM

    What the Fuck Munky Boyz..... Is there anybody in here?

    ReplyDelete
  23. Turd WinkleJanuary 5, 2014 at 1:30 PM

    Is I be Da only wun left alive?

    ReplyDelete
  24. chronos the wonder pigJanuary 5, 2014 at 4:50 PM

    naw I was down at the beach watching the tourist women in bikinis....

    ReplyDelete
  25. chronos the wonder pigJanuary 5, 2014 at 4:51 PM

    everybody else be popsicles by now

    ReplyDelete
  26. Frozen GlobesJanuary 6, 2014 at 8:15 PM

    Do popcycles get that cold?

    ReplyDelete
  27. PotsterinoJanuary 11, 2014 at 1:06 PM

    Shtevarino, you ok?

    Like Jack. KahunaLaguna used to say. JUST KEEP BREATHING.

    ReplyDelete