Thursday, July 15, 2010

T.G.I.F.

Things To Ponder:

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

10. Why are they called " stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

11 comments:

Steven O'Wright said...

Why do you drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?

Anonymous said...

Good one!
APPLAUSE, APPLAUSE!

Anonymous said...

Why would anyone want to "take a piss"?

Anonymous said...

Let's ponder the difference between "take a shit" and "give a shit"?

Succubus Mudda said...

Wut Id a SUCCUBUS?

Hint........ missy

Anonymous said...

Apparently, great minds are attracted to each other.

Schteveo said...

Good questions.




(BTW - it's a TV set, because it USED to be made of a "set" of tubes. Just as the predecessor for entertainment and news was a radio set. Oddly, only engineers and technicians use the "set" on that!)

Schteveo said...

How come we hate to get shit on our shoe, but intentionally get shit faced!?

Cooked Noodle said...

So, which is it Missy, Blow or Suck?

srk said...

those two acts are not mutually exclusive. In fact, they work best in tandem

Missy said...

Like a PushMe - PullYou?