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UPDATE
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The marriage is most likely over.
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She's decided that HE needs help, that until he gets rid of the anger issues (like tearing up her lap top with a hammer) she will not "..expose herself or the children to that level of TERROR...". She on the other hand will seek no help, as she is fine.
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I'm hoping that her parents have plenty of time, energy and money. They're going to need it.
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I'm going to go blow up the internet.
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Many of you may remember my tale of the "World of Warcraft" addicted daughter-in-law, from two years ago. She had been playing for 18 to 20 hrs per day, doing little or nothing else, save eating and sleeping, she went 4 or 5 days sometimes on a few naps and if you stop to take a shower, you're NOT playing.
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Huge blow up when I went for the family sanctioned intervention, game cut off, screaming, yelling, cops,ambulances, psych wards, it WAS NOT pretty. But she did quit.
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Well....She's BAAaaaAACK.
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This is my older son's wife, 32 years old, 3 kids, they've been married for 11 1/2 years, during all of which he's been a happy little squid, in Uncle Sugar's Big Grey Canoe Club. (for you non-military types, he's a Navy Lifer-Dog)
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At one point they were BOTH playing this idiot game, to the exclusion of taking care of ANYTHING, including their kids. It's as psychologically addicting as anything I've ever seen. Coke or crack.
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My son was due to rotate back to sea duty this fall, he re-enlisted and had orders in hand and a move date set. Unknown to us, or her parents, she was playing WoW again and was back to the same old habits. The deal between them was, when the final approved orders come, she'd quit playing, and clean, and pack, and make all preperations for getting under way.
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She did.
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She quit playing after he took a hammer to her computer. And she got underway to her parents house, here in Raleighwood, with 3 kids in tow.
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While she played he did everything, or the kids stepped and fetched for her. My son would do the clothes, cooking, cleaning, etc., plus he worked. The kids helped around the house. Which is not bad for them, but she just played WoW. When she realized she was going to have to keep house and raise kids alone while he was at sea, she bolted home to Mommie's and Daddie's house. (her parents are enablers, as is my son as an ex-addict)
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We've seen her, she is not well. The game may be off, but she has not checked back in. She told us yesterday that she quit playing, by her own will, cold turkey. When any of us remind her of the facts, and the actual history, she continues her "...me, me, me..." monologue, as if no one had ever spoken to her. We expect a serious uphill battle, and most of us think she's going to wind up in a resident psych facility.
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The point of this, is NOT to garner love and puppys from you my friends. I want you to go to you kid's, husband's, wife's, family member's, lover's computer and smash that MFer into dust. Or, if your crowd is like some I know, it's texting, sexting, Twitter. Run your car over that cell phone. If the kids have a phone for "emergencies", turn off the text message ability. 1500 texts to Susie and Tommy, about Mrs Snootly's 11th grade English test or freakin Sanjaya from 'merican Idle, is NOT an "emergency".
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Electronic addiction is as real as anything out there. Someone you know has it. And it's ruining this segment of their live.
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The worst part of all this is that my 8 and 11 y/o grandsons can't throw, kick or catch a ball, or frisbee, can't ride a bike, they are scared to death of bugs, dogs, thunder, SWEAT. After 15 minutes in my backyard, they're bored and want to come in. They cried when my wife took them to the park on Monday. They were tired and sweaty and wanted to go into the air conditioning, after a whole 45 minutes. "...Grandma, it's not healthy to be in the sun or to get all hot and sweaty..."
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Guaranteed, you know these kids too, or have them in your family. Help them now, make 'em sweat and get skinned knees and skeeter bites. My experience is that life is much more about sweat, skinned knees and bugs, than it is about A/C and easy tireless fun.
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Hammerin' Schteveo
14 comments:
Will Obamacare cover WoW addiction? On a more serious note, I have seen internet addiction and it really is all consuming.
Beat me too it, Missy.
By the way, why do all these folks who scream the loudest for a "public option" send their kids to "private schools"?
Any why do federal employess have Blue Cross Blue Shield instead of Medicare? And why do they keep BCBS after retirement?
I feel for ya Steve. Addiction to anything can be a serious problem. When it reaches this point, it requires professional help, and probably loooong term.
I've dealt with hundreds of addicts over the years. True, it was mostly drugs, but addicts are pretty much the same regardless of what they're addicted to. The one thing they all share is lying to protect/hide/support their addiction. And that addiction is their #1 priority above "all" else. They can "never" be trusted to help themselves, no matter how often or strongly they claim they will. And smashing her computer won't stop her. She will find another outlet because she is being controlled by a force that's far stronger than she is. That's why a pro is needed.
God bless those of you around her who are trying to help, because only God can provide the kind of strength they're gonna need.
Steve:
the liberals would say that is cruel. the little scamps need to be on the internet, watch TV or otherwise be taught by the village.
Billy O,
I'm hoping there ALL here going to my home school starting in a few weeks, along with their previously scheduled cousin.
Billy O,
I'm hoping there ALL here going to my home school starting in a few weeks, along with their previously scheduled cousin.
Screw the idiot liberal schools.
We're going TV hunting next week, me, and the 4 bigger grandsons. I've got the SKS, the new Ruger, and an old TV that's dying to be a target.
That's Poppy Schteveo's first day of school fun time.
QUOTABLE QUOTES
" I was not intimidated during J. Edgar Hoover's FBI hunt for reporters like me who criticized him. I railed against the Bush-Cheney war on the Bill of Rights without blinking. But now I am finally scared of a White House administration. President Obama's desired health care reform intends that a federal board (similar to the British model) — as in the Center for Health Outcomes Research and Evaluation in a current Democratic bill — decides whether your quality of life, regardless of your political party, merits government-controlled funds to keep you alive. Watch for that life-decider in the final bill. It's already in the stimulus bill signed into law.
– Nat Hentoff (liberal journalist)
Steve -
I'm sorry. You can't always control the people that affect your life. I hope that something starts to go better soon.
What a coincidence. There's a story on Drudge about a place for internet "detox" for addicts. Click my name to go to the story
Blogger Missy said...
Will Obamacare cover WoW addiction?
Probably time for end-of-life counseling.
Thanks Heidi.
We are ass deep in this problem and most of us are unwilling to help her in any way, unless she gets help. Which she says she doesn't need.
I feel bad for the grandkids, but at least they are at her parents house. Although I'm not crazy about that, I know they won't get abused or go hungry over there. This also places them 20 minutes from me, not hours or days. But THOSE grandparents feed the electronic addiction by giving the kids game carts, hand held games, etc.
Their daughter is drunk, so it's OK to give the kids beer?
I've read about many of those electronic detox places popping up. Most get full, as soon as the doors open. Sad.
I really dont post too much on here, but read a lot of the time and agree quite a bit, and maybe im reading the post and comments wrong (which is very possible). As with all addictions, in my opinion, an addiction to WoW is not the producers (in this case Blizzard) fault. I play warcraft, have been for over 3 years. Ive been drinking much longer than that and I smoke too, but none of them rule my life, nor my kids. both my kids play WoW, but as with any video game system, tv and cell phone when used in moderation it is not a bad thing. My son plays basketball and baseball, watches tv plays video games and last night i had to get onto him to turn out his light because he was READING a book after bedtime(which is also strictly enforced). They are allowed to do many things, but are restricted in the amount of thime they can do one. I suppose im a bad parent for having well rounded children and exposing them to all the addictive things i do. Oh and yes they also go to a private christian school, which i pay for. I realize you were not blaming warcraft for the addiction, but any knee jerk reaction doesnt seem warranted. You would have to do the same thing for all addictions, which can run the gambit from drugs to jogging.
I know im rambling (which is why i dont post much, that and the horrible typing skills)but i cannot see how you can blame electronics for the addiction, no more than an alcoholic can blame the alcohol for making him drink. I do hope that she gets the help she evidently needs, and from what i read she needs it, but dont try to wash all the dogs in town just because yours has fleas, that sounds a bit socialistic.
Jeffrey
Jeffrey,
drop by more often, we don't critique spelling or speed.
Seriously, I don't blame the devices. But I question the ability of the designers to subliminalize a desire for the games. Who checks every line of code? Most of it is proprietary and they won't allow anyone to look at it. I'm convinced it's possible to manipulate the weak.
How many years did the tobacco industry deny pumping up nicotine, the addictive part of their product to increase sales? If the game companies can do it, what would hold them back? Corporate ethics, conscience?
Ultimately, I blame the addictees and their enablers. In this case that would INCLUDE MY SON, and I've said so to him. So has Mrs Schteveo.
I fully understand additive behavior, I used to drink. My LAST serious bout of drinking lasted almost 6 months, back in 91 and 92. Drunk any hours I wasn't working. And I blamed every freakin body for my problems. But I eventually looked at ME. Holy crap! It wasn't everyone else.
Insanity, is a majority of one.
Only the addictee can make the change, nobody can force it on them.
Unfortunately, she ain't there yet. She thinks ALL her friends, life long, grade school 'til now friends, have abandoned her, because they've been brainwashed by my son. (I wish he was that smart, I'd have a nice house and 2 boats at the beach!!)
Nice to see you again, Just Jeffrey. Hope you received the email the other day as well.
Everything in moderation. Our Tsars and bourgeoisie (Even the Russians couldn't juggle both at the same time. Obama did that in 6 months. Give it up for Obama) want to dictate what, when how much if any at all, ad nauseum.
You maus be doing something right even if (it takes) a village idiot dictates otherwise.
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