If a conservative doesn´t like guns, he doesn`t buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn`t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.
If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.
A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.
If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.
If a black man or Hispanic are conservative, they see themselves as independently successful.
Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.
If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.
If a conservative doesn´t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don´t like be shut down.
If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn´t go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. (Unless it´s a foreign religion, of course!)
If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.
If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed.
If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he's in labor and then sues.
If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A liberal will delete it because he's "offended".
7 comments:
Oh so true!
Yea but liberal twats are WAY more likely to swallow.
YA know, one of the best times I had was this hippie chick that would swallow, and one time right after I buttered her tonsils I tickled the shit outta her and she shot my giz outta her nose. (all over my face however).
You takin all this down Missy?
Hey, you know that chic too? And she told me that she only did that for me.
NannerMouse
W T F ? Howz ya'll been?
I nebber deed katch where frum abouts Ya'll R geographically situated. I livez knot 2 fur frum de base ub de Super-Stition Mountianz up der in Arizoney wayz.
How bout Ewe?
I live in a shoe.
Deaf Sex
Two deaf people get married and during the first week of marriage they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom with the lights out since they can't see each other signing, or read lips. After several nights of fumbling around and many misunderstandings, the wife figures out a solution.
She writes a note to her husband: 'Honey, Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast two times.
The husband thinks this is a great idea. He writes back to his wife that if she wants to have sex with him, reach over and pull on his wang one time. If she doesn't want to have sex, pull on his wang two hundred and fifty times.
probably more like in a Pineapple Under the Sea (men)
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