Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible Rate at which one can die.
Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, Make him a sandwich .
Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, Teach a person to use the Internet and They won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky ... Not really good for anything, but you Still can't help but smile when You shove them down the stairs.
Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, Lying in hospitals, dying of nothing.
Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to Criticism.
Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00, And a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?
Number 2
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
And The Number 1 Thought For 2010
"Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers; What you do today, might Burn Your Ass Tomorrow"
4 comments:
LOL!! Great post bud!
I especially like 8 and 2.
8 reminds me of an old episode of "Northern Exposure". The three main male characters are at the bar, commiserating over problems with the women in their lives. Barry Corbin, as the ex-Astronaut Maurice Minifield, speaks one of the most spot on, simple, well thought out lines about men I've ever heard.
"Women simply refuse to understand that men are only interested in two things. Their stomach and their penis!"
That just about wraps up 99.999999999999999% of what we do, what we like and why we do and like the things we do and like. Except to quote Alfala, "Spanky, I've got to live my OWN life!"
And the two things that interest women? Their vagina and their phone. And not always in that order.
When set on vibrate mode - the interest is equal.
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