Here are some basic rules so that you'll have fun...
DON'T dress up as a Catholic Priest, if you're assigned to candy wrangling duty on Halloween Night.
DON'T eat the candy corn. It's vile stuff that predates the primordial ooze, which spawned the first self-perpetuating organism.
DON'T let yourself be tempted by that foxy this close to street legal wenchlet in the skimpy outfit. She's jail bait and thus off limits, she's young enough to be your granddaughter.
DON'T be afraid of the crazy guy who jumps out and scares you. Spike swears that he's got the best candy in the neighborhood.
DON'T let the paranoid ravings of caterwauling cretins spoil one of the great, kid-friendly days of the whole year.
DON'T forget to take some kind of light with you, to make it easy for drivers to see you.
DON'T forget to have a good time, because Halloween is the best damn day of the entire year..
We dare to tell the nay-sayers who vilify Halloween for a host of asinine reasons to get over themselves. We're willing to admit that we like Halloween. We like it, because, despite its overly commercial trappings, Halloween is about much more than boatloads of candy, plastic witches, and glowering pumpkins. At its core, Halloween is about kids and the enjoyment they get from dressing up as their favorite character. It's a day when children let their imaginations run free, something that's much too rare in this first decade of the 21st century. Finally, we like Halloween because, for now, it hasn't (yet) been destroyed by the all-powerful Nanny State...
Borrowed from the patriotic minds at PIG...
4 comments:
I'm one of the few Right-Wing Christians I know of who is RABID against the anti-Halloween crap. I've argued this with ministers and the regular fools they've co-opted into this stupid Anti-American Tradition shit.
If you are looking for the best way to argue these idiots, ask them THIS simple question.
"How is it ANY different for YOU to attack Halloween using YOUR religious reasons than atheists attacking US for their NON-religious reasons?"
Then, if you're any student of history you can ask them IF they know we get Halloween the Celts who put out turnips carved the way WE carve pumpkins, to SCARE away evil spirits, witches, warlocks...EVIL in general..and when the Scots and Irish they started using pumpkins...and IF that's the case, and it's all true, how is following the American tradition of Halloween Satanic or Demonic WORSHIP?
I tied one of my buddies in knots with that... and he was pastor of my last church AND is working on his PhD in Divinity. Likewise I've gone after others with the plain facts and logic. I've not changed any minds, but telling the truth is NEVER a bad idea, because it may just make a difference.
Ah, but the nanny state IS most definitely trying to destroy this fun night. Check the Massachussets school superintendent that sent the memo to all in the district about how rotten our fall holidays are.
They will not rest until our culture is completely sanitized and all risk and reward is eliminated. Unless we stop them.
It's because the fudgepackers have usurped this night as a street orgy. No one dare attack the flamining butt hole surfers.
Did the aclu bother the dressed-up queers parading in NYC and San Francisco last night?
"Political correctness is a greater threat to our freedom and liberty than is terrorism..."
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