Sunday, August 17, 2014 tolls for Thee.

I hope that we're all educated enough to get that quote, and by that I mean OLD enough to have had a decent education.

I said this once before and I'm puttin' it out there again.  I think this blog has run it's course.  Seemingly  none of us is finding, or caring enough about, stuff to post here.  For myself, it's not so much that I don't care as I'm just so fucking burned out, that I'm all but sitting in the corner, playing hand-ball with my own turds.

I'm not sure what the fuck will change that right now, but coming in here and bitching, or seeing that no one else is writing, isn't helping me at all.

I'm not attempting to place blame by saying that, but all good thing come to an end.  There are several thing I think have killed this blog.  The ladies are long gone and I think that hurt us a great deal.  We lost half the opinions in the world because of it.

I think we lost even more with, what I can only assume was, the death of Tony [Spider].

I have no way to completely turn this off, nor would I ever have any intention of doing so, even if I could, of deleting the Archives.  As trite or strident as this Archive may be, it IS our Lascaux.  So there it is Gentlemen, as far as I can see, we're at the point where we might as well piss on the fire and call in the dogs.

I can honestly and openly say, that I've learned an awful LOT from everyone here.

Sometimes, and more often than not at the start, I learned much from you all because I had to do research to keep up.  To my knowledge most of you have degrees, advanced degrees or there about, I was the lone HS drop out in a very fast crowd!  It sucks to be the fat girl at Bulimia Camp!?  This group, from our earliest days with 'Annie', taught me a great deal, it's certainly made me a better writer and researcher and all of you taught me something.

If there is one single thing I wish I HAD done from this that I did NOT, it's that I turned down several invitations to take a weekend or a week with Spider in NYC.

I allowed my own fears to get in the way of something I wanted to do.  That's a hell of a way for a grown man to act towards a friend.  So learn something from me, be brave when it looks like something that seems easier to just pass up.

Be well my friends, live long and prosper, I'll see you via e-mail and on 'the' Face Book, my last, thanks, be well.


for anyone interested in reading my drivel after today, check out my  Face Book page.


alan said...

:-( I hear you steve. I don't think it is not caring so much as limited time.

I will second the claim. I've learned a lot from everyone over the years, and guys gave me something to look forward to every day.

I think I will still drop in every once in a while just to see if there is anything new.

Schteveo R said...

I couldn't imagine NOT having time at this point.

This time next week, everyone will be at work or back in school [even my D-i-L, the ex-JRHS drop out started college this AM]. I just watch them living their lives.

Maybe I'M the one who's burned out on this.

I'm hoping a move to something different or new will put something active in my mind. I may even get brave enough to put up some short story stuff I've been playing with. Certainly, if I don't find an outlet for my disgust with life, I'm going to implode. Been there, done that, hate the hang-overs, cost and the way I feel when I realize I've been drunk / high for 4 days or 4 months.

Fuck, fuck, FUUUUCCCK!

Until I actually wrote that just now, I never gave rise to the admittance that I was that close. It's been 22 years since I was 'officially' a working addict. I equate my disability with going to CA and getting sick out there. After that initial illness I was never 'healthy' again. And wanting to run away, needing to get buzzed drove me to that job. Man, I sure as fuck don't want to go there again.

The old hippie in my head is reminding me that today is the first day of the rest of my life. alan, that was your first successful life flight for today.

You just shook a near dead man awake.

alan said...

Glad I could help. My sweetheart is pulling her hair out right now. I don't think I have been home 3 consecutive days since May and I work 7-10 days at at time. This weekend my daughter, her husband and their two kids moved into their own home....well, my wife and son moved them into their own home.

I can't complain too much, they finished college and it was a matter of getting a job and then figuring out what they could was just the last 2 months of them being perpetual "guests" instead of renters that drove us crazy.

That being said...I think throwing some of your writing up would be great. I am working on 3 history book projects right now myself. BG Philip St. George Cooke (Civil War) BG Daniel Wells (Pre-Civl War Utah), and the Iowa volunteers from the Mexican American war. I am also editing the first draft of a book being written by the command historian at West Point. I'd love to read what you come up with.

Does that mean we change the format for the inferno? Or just start a whole new blog?

Snporpht FingerPoot Lives Onnnnnnnn! said...

E A T M E!!

Bill O'Writes said...

See you at the weighing in when our life's sum totals made and we weigh ourselves our goodly deeds against the sins we laid. And we lay our final burdens on our hardpressed next of kin. and send the chamber pot back down the line to be filled up again.

Schteveo R said...

Is that an invite to come break fast at Yom Kippur!?

Little Squeezer said...

Is this the end of

.................Little Ceaser?