Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Veterans Against Murderous Stupidity?

I'm NOT a joiner, I'm not an organizer and I don't know enough people to truly make a 'go' AT an organization of Veterans who are tired of JUST the Veterans and Service groups that already exist [mostly for the benefit of retirees...].  But this shit going on in Iraq and Afghanistan has gone TOO GD far IMNSH-and very pissed off-O.

And honestly, I'm not going to lay blame on BHO alone either.

As I've said before, I come from a military family.  Both of my Grandfathers, my dad, myself and both of my sons are veterans.  They both did time in and around Iraq.  I'm very proud to say, our older son just retired from the Navy, he did 5 cruises in that area, the last two on the armed boarding crew, taking out Somali pirates.  So I'm pretty sure I've earned the Right to speak out about how the U.S. Government USES and DISCARDS those of us who quite literally sign away our very lives.

So here's how I got here this morning.

I've all but quit watching 'the news' from ANY kind of U.S. market.  I don't need THEIR opinion of the news.  I'm 60 years old, I've been ALL over the world, I've been married 40 years, we've raised two kids, daily assist with two more.  I've got nieces and nephews who are mostly  younger than my kids.  I'm the oldest kid in my family so I remember all the siblings and cousins coming along OVER that time.  I read and study voraciously to this minutes.  So I tend to trust MY opinion over 'theirs' based on MY life experiences and studying.  But regardless of what news I do hear, it's 90% about how wrong ANYONE / ANY country is to defend them self.  But, all the 'world powers' [especially our idiot elected tormentors] continue to send troops / advisers into countries where people are trying their GDest to KILL each other or anyone they see as needing killing.

There's the set-up, here comes the knock down.

I'm not sure HOW we get there, but we need some sort of system of continuity in the way we use our military.  We also need to make sure that this system of using our military as political cannon fodder STOPS and does not restart!  Just stop and think of the U.S lives that have been all but wasted since August of 1945.

If you add all the actual combat deaths, and those who pass away daily from wounds suffered since Japan surrendered, it's close to a half MILLION.  Taking into consideration that we are close to, if not over, having  more suicides in the military than combat deaths over the last 25 years.

I'm no shrink, but, how many of those suicides were because of the absolute despair of thinking that their sacrifices are a fucking waste.  The loss of their friends.  And although I can't imagine it, the very thought that the killing of another human being, even the assholes in the terrorist groups, that seemingly meant nothing, has GOT to play into this.

This has got to stop!

As I said, I'm not sure HOW you start an organization, but the service members desperately need the veterans to do what they can't do themselves.  There has got to be a movement to move us away from NOT fighting to WIN conflicts.  We all go into the service wide eyed.  No one thinks HE or SHE will be the one to be maimed or killed.  But we've absolutely got to have a voice FOR using the United States Military in a manner that causes the opponents to go away, so beaten and demoralized that they NEVER want to take on ANY military again.

I'd go back to sea tomorrow if my phone rang.

But as it WON'T happen, I want to do something else, to help us protect ourselves, and future generations, from the worthless, feckless, gutless assholes who WANT to use us AS political cannon fodder, from doing so.  Having said that, HOW do you go about starting something like this?

Or, am I pissing at the Moon?
.
.
Schteveo






 

Sunday, July 20, 2014

45 years ago today, we were ALL in awe...

...watching two men, walk on the Moon.

As a kid of the 50's and 60's, I remember watching all the space stuff on TV.  And although I WAS interested, there was no other choice anyway.  We only had two and a half channels back then, WHAS and WAVE, WLKY was UHF, ergo, the half.  Three netwroks, and they all thought they had THE best coverage, so on they went.

But the networks all showed every minute of lead up to a launch.  The first two, Alan Shepard and John Glenn, went wire to wire, an hour or more before launch, and then an hour or so after as I recall.  My buds and I, being young boys, thought going into space was going to be for ALL of us by the time we grew up.  Most of our parents accepted that too as I recall.

Little did we know.

From May 5, 1961 to December 11,1972, in just 11 years, 7 months, 7 days, the American public went from being enamored, to being pissed off about the wasted money.  And now, 45 years after the 1st Moon landing, there's not a mention of the event in ANY media that isn't already Space or Aerospace aligned.

It's some sad shit, to me anyway, that it's not JUST the Leftists in the MSM who don't give a flying fig.  Fox News has it buried, The Blaze hasn't mentioned it at all that I can find.

I'm of the opinion that George Santayana was more of a prophet to OUR country than any other.
.
.
Schteveo
 

sometimes I sits and thinks.....

Interesting experience last night.  I was joking with one of my med crew last night that I have to double check the schedule in order to decide how much to nap during the day.  When one of the nurses and I get on a night shift together, we seem to always spend all night flying.  Last night was no exception.

We responded to a call just before midnight to go to a rural area to pick up an elderly stroke victim.  When we got there, the doc apologized that we had to come.  The guy was probably not going to make it, but his family wanted him taken to the neuro center in the city, a 90 minute flight for us, after making the 45 minute flight to get him.  So away we went. We were a little irritated because we knew that we would not get back to base until the sun started coming up.  (I know not a good example of EMS service, but again, the guy had a less than 1% chance of ever waking up again, so the irritation was for the waste of resources)

We packaged the patient and noticed some severe scaring on his shoulder and back of his leg.  After we took off for the city, the med crew started going through his records.  Here was a guy who was almost 90 years old with some interesting trauma to his body.  As they reviewed his records, they discovered that the trauma were GSWs....gun shot wounds.  Now we were curious, how does a 90 year old man get gun shot wounds.  Then we discovered he was a WWII vet.  Then the clincher...he was a code talker.

Now we knew where the wounds came from.  We were a little humbled to realize that we were taking a real American hero on his last flight.  Several years ago I mentioned "Angle Flights" as one of the last rites given to a fallen service member leaving theater.  Tonight, as I "sits and thinks"  I will proclaim that I am glad that I got to participate in last nights flight.  His family will never know, he will never know, but to me it meant something to have him in my aircraft.  There are only about a dozen left.  This man was a member of a small group that indirectly saved thousands of lives.  That group that were saved includes my own grandfather.

Attention.
Present - Arms.


Bezaad ye at ah na ayee yik'eh deesdlu.


Friday, July 18, 2014

Not Much Phucking Phunny to Me Today.

The depth of my disgust for Barack Obama is on par with the bottom of the Mariana Trench.  What a lackluster, weak-willed, boob he is.  At best he's a pusillanimous fool, at the worst he does this shit on purpose.  I'm out of guesses as to which is correct.
.
President Barack Obama said Friday that the missile that downed a commercial jet was fired from a separatist-held location in Ukraine, and the American ambassador to the United Nations said she could not rule out that Russia had helped.

The president stopped short of saying that pro-Russian separatists had taken out the jet, Malaysia Airlines Flight 17, killing 298 people. He and other world leaders called for an immediate cease-fire in eastern Ukraine, where the separatists have fought government forces for months, to let investigators in. 

Obama also confirmed that at least one American citizen was among the dead: Quinn Lucas Schansman, who the State Department said also had Dutch citizenship. 

And my ire for the assholes of the MSM is on par with every other day.  NBC News had the following as the Title Bar for the story.
.
Complete coverage of the Boeing 777 that crashed near the Ukraine-Russia border with 298 people aboard on July 17, 2014.
.
Crashed?  Planes don't 'crash' after they've been shot out of the sky.  A crash is when something like weather or mechanical problems or even a GD mid-air collision happens!   These people were shot out of the air by a SAM missile, given to Ukrainian rebels, by Vladimir Putin.

Would they call it a 'crash' if someone shot into a car running 70MPH, on the Freeway, and the driver was killed and his car ran into a bridge?  A bullet, in my example, is just a small 'missile', fired into a smaller, land based vehicle.  It's NOT a crash, it's fucking murder!

But as usual, neither the MSM clowns nor their favorite POTUS of all time, could bring themselves to just SAY that at least ONE American had been killed, he had dual citizenship, he was a Dutch citizen too. 

Well SHIT!!!  Flying near Ukraine, I guess, means he was ripe for killing, right?  The Dutch shouldn't be allowed to fly peaceably around the World.  That dude got what he had coming to him.  He should have just stayed his ass in Holland, tending his windmill and whittling new shoes!

There are days, like today my friends, where I just don't give a shit, whether they storm D.C., hang a couple hundred or a thousand idiots who 'work' there, and the country has to be rebooted.  The very fact that even ONE civilian with a U.S. Passport has been killed by a Russian missile, is 10 too GD many, IMNSHO.

Please don't misunderstand my anger about ONE American vs 297 other lives.  I am not discounting those other lives.  But I'm not FROM Holland, Malaysia, Australia, et al.  It is up to the leaders of those countries to stand up for their people.  I just wished I still lived in a country where that happened, at least once in a while anyway....
.
.
Schteveo

Monday, July 14, 2014

If guns and fences DON'T work...

...then why is there a fence around the White House, why are there armed guards at nuclear power plants and WHY is there a TSA?!

Here's an article that says piracy off the Horn of Africa is WAY down this year.  Guess why?
.
.
... the most successful tactic contributing to the drop in successful attacks has been sending commercial ships out to sea past Somalia with armed private security on board.
.
.
HOWEVER FUCKING COMMA!!!!

Here at home guns and fences and security and jails are NOT the answer to illegal aliens, gangs, drug runners or lying MFers in elected posts at the city, county, state or federal level.  Personally, I'm sick to fucking death of the attitude in the World that says defending YOURSELF [or you home, town or COUNTRY] is wrong and mean with respect to the illegals, and terrorists.

Personally, the zombie apocalypse can't start TOO soon.  I'm ready and anyone who isn't, is fooling themselves.  I just hope 'stupid' tastes good, so the zombies will attack and eat the stupid people first.
.
.
Schteveo

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

This is the baddest Gnome I've ever seen!

I'm getting one of these for my house ASAP.
.
.





From the Patriot Depot page:


This gnome means business.  Anyone who enters your backyard will be greeted by Scarface the gnome, holding a gun and featuring the famous Al Pacino quote: "Say hello to my little friend".  

Guaranteed 100% effective against Zombie Gnomes.

Stands 9.5" tall.
.
.
Schteveo

Friday, July 4, 2014

Happy 4th of July Friends.

Happy 4th, long may she wave and God help the miscreants who seek to diminish our nation. 

I don't care if you believe in God(s) or fate or the Great Galactic Karmic Wheel, what goes around, comes around, they will get there's!!

from the House of Schteveo, have a good one.

Friday, June 27, 2014

Woodpecker Phunny

A Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were in
Mexico arguing about which country had the toughest trees.

The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no
woodpecker could peck.

The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly
pecked a hole in the tree with no problem.


The Mexican woodpecker was amazed.

The Canadian woodpecker then challenged the Mexican
woodpecker to peck a tree in Canada that was absolutely
'impeccable' (a term frequently used by woodpeckers).

The Mexican woodpecker expressed confidence that he
could do it and accepted the challenge.

The two of them flew to Canada where the Mexican
woodpecker successfully pecked the so-called 'impeccable'
tree almost without breaking a sweat.

Both woodpeckers were now terribly confused.
How is it that the Canadian woodpecker was able
to peck the Mexican tree, and the Mexican
woodpecker was able to peck the Canadian tree,
yet neither was able to peck the tree in their own country?

After much woodpecker pondering, they both came to the same conclusion.


Apparently your pecker gets harder when you're away from home.


Schteveo

Sunday, June 22, 2014

...and I should feel sorry WHY?

I'm not rabid anti-union, which has previously pissed off several of our members.  Having said that, SOME unions are over the top in their demands.  These clowns are on the abusive, self-important, WTF list.

IMHO anyway.

The West Coast ports that are America's gateway for hundreds of billions of dollars of trade with Asia and beyond are no stranger to labor unrest and even violence.

Now, the contract that covers nearly 20,000 dockworkers is set to expire, and businesses that trade in everything from apples to iPhones are worried about disruptions just as the crush of cargo for the back-to-school and holiday seasons begins.

With contentious issues including benefits and job security on the table, smooth sailing is no guarantee.  

On one side is the International Longshore and Warehouse Union, with its tradition of fierce activism dating to the Great Depression, when two of its members were killed during a strike. On the other is the Pacific Maritime Association, which represents shipping lines and operators of terminals at 29 West Coast ports.

Both acknowledge that they are unlikely to agree on a new contract before the current one expires June 30, but they plan to negotiate past that deadline. That would fit the pattern from contract talks in 2008 and 2002. In 2002, negotiators didn't reach an agreement until around Thanksgiving, following an impasse that led to a 10-day lockout and a big disruption in trade.

The union's total control over the labor pool means huge bargaining leverage, which negotiators have parlayed into white-collar wages and perks for blue-collar work. A full-time longshoreman earns about $130,000 a year, while foremen earn about $210,000, according to employer data. Workers pay nearly nothing for health coverage that includes no premiums and $1 prescriptions.

I knew the longshoremen made good money, but that's friggin' ridiculous.  They're manual laborers for Christ sake, not rocket surgeons or brain scientists.  I'm not sure what the answer is, but more money isn't it.  Anyone making that kind of bread, in this economy, thinking they 'deserve' more, isn't going to negotiate in good faith.

Lock the bastards out and hire scabs.  Scabs willing to pay at least a $10 scrip fee at CVS, Walgreens or the Vons Pharmacy. 

Monday, June 16, 2014

THE WAR IS OVER!!!! It's VW-DAY!!!!

From the Rose Garden, President Barack Obama outlined a timetable for the gradual withdrawal of the last U.S. troops in Afghanistan and said confidently, “This is how wars end in the 21st century.”

But less than three weeks after his May 27 announcement, there is a sudden burst of uncertainty surrounding the way Obama has moved to bring the two conflicts he inherited to a close.

 First and foremost, modern American Presidents need to learn that a 'war' is NOT over, when they draw a line on a calendar, and say, "...I want all the troops out by this date, and  this is how wars end in the 21st century!!!"

What a waist fresh air is a statement like THAT!?

A war is 'over', Mr. Obama, when your enemy is so demoralized by you killing him and his people that he and they NEVER want to take you on again!!!  Since August of 1945, we have totally, utterly and absolutely forgotten that simple fact.

And that we have allowed each successive generation of young men, and now young women, to be sent out to fight in our country's name, by men who do NOT fight to beat our enemies to that ultimate finish is a failure of them to fulfill their oath of office IMNSHO.

When we elect men who do NOT fight wars to a WWII style win, who do not run that enemy  down and ruin their view of WHAT or WHO they are fighting for, then they are not fulfilling their oath of office.  It is their failing that we are then living under even more dangerous situations with that enemy and others made bold BY that President's failure.

However, when we RE-elect them, it is OUR fault that those enemies, both new and old, kill our sons and daughters.

I am NOT a proponent of nuking our current enemies, the World's Islamofascists.  Mainly because they do NOT have a 'city' that is their 'capital'.  Nor do they have a needed shipping port, or other strategic spot to hit that will hurt their 'nation'.  Their only nation is Hate.

So, our ONLY hope is to put every man possible IN the field in Iraq and Afghanistan to kill as many people who we can, on a field of battle, who stand up and fight.  The 'surge' worked before, it will work again.  And, if the people at the center of our fields of battle, Iran, want to get involved, they DO have a capital and strategic places we can bomb to solve many of our problems in that part of the world.

Iran IS the cause, and the main backer, of the majority of the World's Islamofascist trouble.

Re-electing Mr. Obama has certainly ensured us of more NEW enemies and emboldened old ones.  And that he and his advisers think that getting into ANY kind of 'agreements' with the Iranian government is a good idea, shows just how slow witted they are and how little they understand what the word 'enemy' means.

But telling the American Citizens that 'X' war is over on 'Y' day 'because I say so', is perhaps the dumbest thing ever said by the country's smartest President.
 .
.
Schteveo

Friday, June 6, 2014

Lord help me, I agree with Charlie Rangel!!!

There are over 20 million former Jarheads, Zoomies, Squids and Grunts, in the U.S – better known as veterans. And because we have a volunteer military, this revered population is expected to dwindle by 50 percent over the next 25 years. So we wondered, what if military service was mandatory?

“It'd be a better and stronger and more patriotic America,” said Congressman Charles Rangel (D-NY) who introduced the Universal National Service Act in 2003 and has been lobbying for it ever since. “If indeed a president decided that he is going to place our young people in harm’s way, the congress now has to go home and tell you why we need your kid.”

What we’re talking about is conscription, forcing every man and woman to serve their country. As in the 70’s, Americans may get desperate in how they dodge their responsibilities, but unlike the 100,000 that ran off to foreign countries, current dodgers may stay put, and hide behind their career.

"If we had mandatory service again, there would be ways of say working at a hospital or something. Working at a nursing home or those kinds of things,” said David Henderson, Associate Professor at the Naval Postgraduate School’s Graduate School of Business and Public Policy. “So I would see that as the way people use to get out of being into the military rather than moving to Canada or Sweden or wherever.”

What IS the world coming to, when I agree with Charlie Rangel?!!!

But on the serious side, I've been a proponent of National Service ever since I met a guy who was raised in Israel.  He was actually in the British Navy by choice.  But he had already done his Israeli Service, and because his mother was a Brit, he joined Her Majesty's Big Grey Canoe Club to see the world and to get more free training.

I'd never heard of any kind of 'national service' other than a military draft, so I listened to him for the 6 days we were together.  I've thought that it's exactly what this country needs to get us back where we once were.  If nothing else, I personally believe that it would kill some of the ME, ME, ME shit that our country NOW has so much of.

And as a veteran I am absolutely against mandatory military service.  But there are plenty of schools, hospitals, nursing homes, V.A Hospitals, National Parks etc, etc, etc that need working hands to keep them going.  I'll even go so far as to say, if you don't want to do ANY of those jobs, I've got your easy out.

You also give up your ability to get any federally backed student loans, FHA loans, farm loans, SBA loans or any such help, and you would not be able to vote.  If you don't want to help the country run, in other words, you sure as hell better not expect it to help you run!    

I have no hope that this will ever happen, but I can hope.
.
.
Schteveo

Monday, May 26, 2014

But on a personal note...

Over the years since I joined this group, I've been very active at times, quite absent other times.  Invariably, my health was the driving factor keeping me away.  And over the last 4 or 5 months, I've been further down, in more pain, and confused.  I've been the weakest I ever felt since I first became sick 22 years ago. 

Going back from Friday afternoon, to the holidays, it seems like my memory is on ping pong balls poured out on the floor.  When we talked over the last few days here at home, I can remember things that have happened, if someone says, "..but we did X, Y or Z for Easter.", I can remember the instance, but there is no continuity to life in general.

I remember that ping pong ball, but the ones in front or behind, I can't put in order.

By the time I got to Friday afternoon last, I had been awake for most of a solid week.  I would sleep a few minutes, or a half hour.  I slept just 90 minutes from Wed morning at around 06:30, until I headed to the E/R at 18:00 on that Friday.  But somewhere around 18:30, I went totally bozo, off the hook, stark raving nuts.  I had a complete and total psychotic break, losing it so far as to be pounding my head on a door frame, punching holes in the hallway walls, and begging my family to kill me, so that I could get some relief from the pain.

They managed to get a muscle relaxer into me, called a ambulance and then got me to the nearest E/R.

At the E/R they ran a ton of tests, did CT scans, did a number of x-rays, all while I climbed the walls in pain.  When the E/R doc finally came in, he started asking me about my medical history, going back decades.  He asked me if I was willing to try something a little, as he put it, out in left field.  I was willing to grasp any thread of hope he was willing to extend, so told him I'd do it.  That was around 21:30.  At 22:00, the nurse got me to sit up on the hospital gurney, and she hooked up a HUGE syringe to my IV.

Friends, buddies, pals, I took the most intense, warmest, fuzziest TRIP of my life.  In the 'real' world it was about 30 minutes, but I had no concept of time.  At 35 minutes I was standing up, walking in the E/R treatment room.  By 22:45 I was no longer high, I had no residual effects at all.

Except that ALL my pain was gone, my muscle wear sore, but not twitching like they had been 45 minutes before, nor cramping.  The other physical symptoms I had were gone also.  Hell, even my sinuses have cleared up.   Beyond that, my mind is clear.  Last Friday night, although I'd been awake the better part of 60 hours, I felt strong, stronger than I'd felt since the week between Christmas and New Years.

Here's the miracle, they gave me a 10 minute infusion of Ketamine.

I simply cannot tell you the difference in the before and after.  Looking back to Friday and before, it's just those ping pong balls scattered in front of me.  If YOU point at a ball, I remember that instance, but not what happened immediately before or after.  Since Friday night, I've been out to work in the garden some.  I've been out checking the bee hive.  I drove this morning, for the first time since early March.

My health history tells me that the Ketamine is not a long term cure all.  After talking to my family and all of us putting our heads together, we're pretty sure that over the years, I've had ketamine a number of times.  It is primarily used as part of the cocktail they give people going under general anaesthesia.  And we're certain that over the years the periods where I was feeling the best, it was because of the ketamine.

We've done hours of online research now, and it's a drug that's been around for years.  Doctors have been using it for years.  But the pain mngt usage is new.  Or at least there's a resurgence of it being used this way.  They started doing it some in the 1990's but it never truly got wide usage.

Well, that's the whole of it. 

Other than this, I'm going to go back through all my medical records and even oral surgery docs, to see who has given me ketamine.  I've had this boost before and no one could explain it.  So I'm going to find out how much and when in the past I've had ketamine.  We feel like it's a no brainer that I had it when they did my stent last November.  For anyone who is interested, shoot me an e-mail, or ask questions in the comments section.
.
.
Schteveo

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

The Pentagon is run by MORONS!!

As a veteran, I was always of the opinion that the guys in the 'home office' just didn't remember what it was like working in the fleet.  I even found a whole different mind set between San Diego and Norfolk, which we called 'proximity pain'.

Meaning, the closer you are to the Pentagon / CNO, the bigger a pain in the ass they were on a daily basis.

As I got older and the world changed to the all volunteer force, I felt like we were getting better people into our military.  If for no other reason that anyone in the military, WANTED to be there.  I thought things were being made even better a few years back, when they raised the required entrance scores a few points.  You'd think someone my age would know better than to ass-u-me things.

Not only did the changes not seemingly help, they tied the hands of the recruiters, sometimes over a point on ASVAB Scoring.  It was so bad in 2000 to 2005, that they instituted the Stop Loss Program.  So at the same time Stop Loss was in place, they left the scoring points where they were, and cut out, literally tens of thousands of willing, smart probable recruits.

Eventually, the numbers grew, the DoD met recruitment numbers across all the services, and Stop Loss wasn't needed.  The story, to me anyway, is about piss poor management and proves that number crunchers in UNIFORMS, are just as thick headed as those in SUITS.

So, coming forward, I find this story on Drudge this morning.
.
.

The Pentagon is weighing allowing some immigrants brought illegally to the country as youths to serve in the military, a unilateral step by the Obama administration as immigration legislation remains stalled in the Republican-led House.

The announcement came Tuesday as House Speaker John Boehner, R-Ohio, defended his election-year decision to rebuff a narrow immigration measure pushed by a GOP congressman to achieve a similar goal.

The Pentagon consideration would apply to immigrants who arrived illegally as kids but already have received work permits and relief from deportation under a program President Barack Obama announced two years ago, called Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals, or DACA. More than 500,000 immigrants have benefited from the program.
.
.
First let me say, this is more social engineering on par with Obumble's Muslim's to the Moon program.  It doesn't come from the DoD / Pentagon / Joint Chiefs.  It comes from the hand-wringers in the West Wing.  But beyond that, it's a really bad idea, IMO, because in its simplest form, it is NOT needed!  We've kicked around the idea that the Libs would use the military to subdue the citizenry.  

While I don't think they can EVER swell the ranks with enough illegals to do the job, I'm still against it.  

Listen, I'm not xenophobic, hell, I'm ONLY second generation from immigrants myself, both of my mothers parents came from Italy / Sicily in the early 1900's.  I'm not racist, I hate idiots of all race, creed or colors equally.  But anytime we overlook CURRENT citizens, to give favor to ANYONE else, so that the non-citizen gets a hand up, after they've going around the system, should NEVER be allowed.
.
.
Schteveo

Friday, May 16, 2014

Phunny Engineers


Understanding Engineers #1

Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."


Understanding Engineers #2

To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.


Understanding Engineers #3
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"


The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"


The priest said, "Here comes the greens-keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello George, What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"


The greens-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime!"


The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."


The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if here's anything she can do for them."


The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"



Understanding Engineers #4
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.


Understanding Engineers #5
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"



Understanding Engineers #6
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.


Understanding Engineers #7
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."


He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.


The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week."


The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.


The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want."


Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.


Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"


The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog - now that's cool."



And Finally


Two repairmen were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top.


A female engineer walked by and asked what they were doing.


"We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but we don't have a ladder."


The engineer took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her pocketbook, took a measurement, announced, "Twenty one feet, six inches," and walked away.


One repairman shook his head and laughed, "A lot of good that does us. We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"


Both men have since been removed from their repair jobs and are currently serving in the United States Congress.

Friday, May 9, 2014

Monica Lewinsky SPEAKS!!!

I'm betting it won't be long before someone in the Hitlary Camp says the timing of this book is set so it messes up her Mrs Clinton's chances of getting to the WH.

Yeah, that's what will keep her out, Monioca Lewinsky.

Anyway, late today I saw that Ms. Lewinsky has a book about to hit, about her affair with Mr. Clinton.  First let me say, BFD, who gives a sh1t, why now, so what, and BFD.

Monica Lewinsky writes in Vanity Fair for the first time about her affair with President Clinton: “It’s time to burn the beret and bury the blue dress.” She also says: “I, myself, deeply regret what happened between me and President Clinton. Let me say it again: I. Myself. Deeply. Regret. What. Happened.”

After 10 years of virtual silence (“So silent, in fact,” she writes, “that the buzz in some circles has been that the Clintons must have paid me off; why else would I have refrained from speaking out? I can assure you that nothing could be further from the truth”), Lewinsky, 40, says it is time to stop “tiptoeing around my past—and other people’s futures. I am determined to have a different ending to my story. I’ve decided, finally, to stick my head above the parapet so that I can take back my narrative and give a purpose to my past. (What this will cost me, I will soon find out.)”

Is it me, or does it seem appropriate that this story is in VANITY Fair?

The ONLY White House, staffed, peopled and full of hangers-on, that is more vane than the Clinton WH, is the one we have NOW!  So, this may work out for all of them when her book hits.  I do understand how Lewinsky might be concerned about going back in front of the world.  She may well go down in history as famous for her sexual 'choices' as the Marquis de Sade was for his.  If nothing else, leagues of teen boys have ridden Slick Willy's coat tails by convincing teen girls that a BJ is NOT sex.

It means nothing to me that she has a book.  I don't read that kind of sensationalistic HS.  And maybe her fears won't come to fruition, and she won't wind up again the public eye, with a bad taste in her mouth.
.
.
Schteveo

Phreakin' Phunny Phriday

A guy is sitting in a bar,and it's late, really, really late and he's drunk, I mean really, really, really drunk.

It's finally closing time, and they chase him out the door.

As he stumbles out the door, he sees a nun walking up the the sidewalk, toward him.

He stumbles up to her, and he punches her, RIGHT in the face!

The nun is totally surprised, but before she could do or say anything, he punches her again.

She falls down and he starts kicking her, over and over, walking around her in a circle.

He reaches down, picks her up, and throws her into a wall.

After that, she was pretty weak and could barely move, she's just moaning and trying to crawl away.

Realizing she can't do anything to defend herself, he leans down, put his face right next to hers and says, 

"Not as bad as you though you were, are you Batman!?!"





Aw man, that's phucked up!

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Handwringers for Peace, Love and Free Shit!!!

I'm not sure what 'comedian' signed me up for these e-mails, but I'm getting stuff from some hand-wringer outfit called Change.org.  The folks at the 'org' helped get out the petition for backing so Trayvon Martin's parents could sue Zimmerman.  And they got out the petition for people to demand that Bank of America NOT charge $5 per month to people who had B of A accounts, without any deposits going into that account.  They helped students and incoming students complain against and demand that tuition not be raised in AZ's state's university system.

Most of what they do, IMO, is just the force of youthful ignorance at work.  This story proves it to me.  So, haha and bite me for whomever did it, good joke.

And speaking of jokes, these people ARE. 

This morning, the 'nice' people at Change.org sent me an ONLINE Petition, that was to be sent to Muslim Militants, Boko Haram, in an attempt to get hundreds of kidnapped girls released from the militants.  Militants by the way, who are selling the girls into forced marriages, for funds they need to keep their militant army going.

Now, I'm an an admitted old, hippie.  And as a believer in the Constitution, I don't just think the 1st Amendment GIVES us a Right to Free speech.  I think it's my responsibility to speak up, speak out, and speak my mind.  Sending petitions to businesses, government officials, or any person or group if we feel they are somehow out of line, is what we are SUPPOSED to do, IMNSHO.

However, and having said that, are the people at Change.org serious about 'petitioning' a militant Islamist ARMY, on another Continent?  An army that is busy enslaving teen and near teen girls, and selling them so they can buy more BULLETS?!!?  Does that even sound like a group who could be swayed by a petition?   What are the odds that they can read?

If the petition gets sent, and delivered, the leader of Boko Haram will use it for toilet paper.  If you've not seen the grinning maniac behind this 'army', HERE'S a video report.

We live in a twisted world, in case you hadn't noticed.  I can't imagine being the parent of one of these girls..  But one thing has been glaringly absent from ALL the reports of this, that I've seen.  No one, not one person, in Nigeria, on any U.S. national news, the BBC news, nor any of my local news, has been able to bring themselves to utter the dictionary definition of what it is, when you capture someone and sell them to a third party, for profit.  It's doubly troubling to me that this practice is very common in Africa, the Middle east and parts of Asia and South America.

And through all this, I haven't heard sh1t from the likes of Al Sharptongue, Jessie Jackass or any other race baiter.  I guess there's no way to make a dime off of helping African-Africans.
That word by the way, according to Messrs Funk & Wagnall, and Mr. Webster et al, is Slavery.  .
.
Schteveo

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

THIS is why we should have built new space shuttles

I'm a Baby Boomer.  I was fascinated when Alan Shepard became the first American in space.  And I stayed fascinated until December of 1972 when the Apollo 17 crew came home.  The Space Shuttle didn't grab me the same way.  However, I sat sadly, as the last shuttle landed in 2011.  I wondered that day, how long it would be before the decision to kill the shuttle program and not replace it with some platform, would come home to roost.

The answer is 2 years, 9 months and 8 days.

Russia warned Tuesday that American astronauts on the International Space Station could be hurt by new US-led sanctions over the escalating crisis in Ukraine, where pro-Moscow militants seized more public buildings in the east.

Washington was resorting to "Iron Curtain" policies from its Cold War-era playbook with the new Western sanctions, which were driving the Ukraine crisis towards "a dead end", Moscow raged.

Washington was resorting to "Iron Curtain" policies from its Cold War-era playbook with the new Western sanctions, which were driving the Ukraine crisis towards "a dead end", Moscow raged.
 

The International Space Station is operated jointly by Russia, the United States, Europe, Japan and Canada. Astronauts and cosmonauts depend on Russian Soyuz rockets to ferry them between it and Earth, ever since NASA scrapped its space shuttles in 2011.

There is a lot more to the article, but nothing about HOW the astronauts could be harmed.  But the most obvious answer is that they could be denied a return trip to the ground.  Let me say finally, I do not think the gov't is the answer here.  People like Elon Musk or even Richard Branson are.

D.D Harriman!!  Where are you!!!

BTW, I found this article via Yahoo News.  As of 14:00 DST today, not one major media outlet is carrying this story.  And the only American TV station carrying it is WDRB, outta my hometown of Louisville, KY.  That seems sad to me.


.

Friday, April 25, 2014

Elk Hunting on a Friday

Two rednecks, Bubba and Jim Bob, are sitting on the front porch of their hunting cabin in Colorado. 

It's the day before Elk Season opens, and as luck would have it, a huge male elk walks right up the drive way, stands about 15 feet from the porch, and starts trumpeting loudly for a female. 

Jim Bob grinning from ear to ear, shakes his head then punches his hunting partner on the shoulder, and says, "Bubba, I hope old big boy there finds himself a girlfriend and knocks off a couple today, 'cause tam'arah he's mine!"

Bubba looks at him and says, "Aw hell, he'll do more'n that! Didn't you know that elks have sex 10 to 15 times a day?"

"WHAT!!", says his Jim Bob, "and just last week, I joined the damned VFW!"
.
.
Schteveo

Sunday, April 20, 2014

I'm often amazed at the cascade effect...

For me, one of the coolest things that happens or from which I learn things, is while I'm surfing or doing some kind of look-up or research, and one thing leads to another, and another and another.  I've heard it called the cascade effect. I love it when, each of the jumps uncover some new or interesting topic, but what I really like, is when I find some nugget of truth so profound I go "WOW!".   I like it too, when my stumbling research solidifies something I'd suspected, but couldn't prove.  It would be selfish to keep it to myself, so here's one from today.

Here's the set-up, and before I go on, I don't care a gnats fart about anyone's sexuality.  Gay sex doesn't appeal to me...but I know heterosexuals I don't like taking a shower near...meaning if they're in the same county as my bathroom.  But I digress. 

This morning, I was watching a show I recorded on BBCAM last night, about science fiction, in particular, this episode was about robots.  One of the 'experts' was a scifi writer named [and I shit you NOT] Charlie Jane Anders.  It seems Ms. Anders...Mr.Anders...this Anders person is a writer of scifi herself...himself...yeah, I had to look it up too.

So, ultimately, I can't tell IF this person is a dude or  babe, there is no single marker for male or female...I'm old and hetero...so I go to look up the person herself...himself...themselves...I TOLD you I had to look it the hell up! 

It seems that Charlie Jane Anders, was born male, but is self described as genderqueer and a trans woman, and you'll just HAVE to look 'em up, I did and I've said so repeatedly!

But that aside, Wikipedia bounced up near the top.  But guess what little bon mot popped up down below?  An article, where Ms. Anders was at odds with a Bisexual Women's group called Chasing Amy Social Club of San Francisco.  But here's what I thought was odd about all of them, being, well, at odds.

Ms Anders thought that it was unfair, wrong, not nice that the bi-ladies at Chasing Amy Social Club, didn't 'allow' transgender women to join their club.

WHAT!!!??  HUH??!!  WTF!!!??  HOW, oh HOW, could it BE!!?

Did I even read that shit right?  Hey, haven't we ALL been repeatedly castigated, belittled and shouted down for such things?  It's shouted from the roofs of the all inclusive gay bath houses with regularity, that California in general and San Francisco in particular are all inclusive areas of love, peace and tolerance.  I'm mean seriously, how dare we tell a female gay couple we don't want to make a cake for their gay wedding in our bakery run by narrow minded religious zealots!!!

Anyway, there is an article in the Bay Area Reporter  telling about the fracase.

But, in fairness to Ms. Anders and the bi-ladies of Chasing Amy Social Club, it is from way back in the dark ages of April of 2014...wait, wait, that's NOW!!!!  But I thought...no wait...I was TOLD that there is love and harmony among all these non-hetero groups.  Actually though, I'm just a tad more than hip to that lie, and I have been for years.

I've worked around enough gay men, gay women and bi-sexuals from both sides of the restroom to know that the supposed unity is just that, supposed.  There is no group of humans would rather be in a mixed group, than in a group of like minded, similar thinking people.  It's part of our human, survival matrix to want to stand back to back with someone who thinks like you do!!  We trust that group over any other.  And so WHAT!?  Let them have their group.  Imagine a world where anyone who DIDN'T like the rules your group has, going off and starting their own group!!!  I think the Hindus call it Nirvana!  But that's JUST the Hindus, IF, you start your own group, you call it what ever you want!   

But you know what I like the best about this story.  If I ran the internet, from my own twisted and fever fingered lap top, I couldn't make up this kind of crap.  I'm not twisted enough to give it the time it needs to look just this ridiculous.

After all, with all the crazy cool lies I could make up if I ran the interwebs, why would I try to make up a story about a topic on which I have no divisive feelings, about people who's stock in trade, is to tell us how cool, loving, inclusive and thoughtful they are, while talking trash AT those of us in a category THEY call 'breeders', while, all  while, they exclude each other from their own self-important, look at me, look at me, look at MY organization groups, while daring us to do so, and suing us if we have the unmitigated gall to do so.

You can't make this shit up!  You just can't.
.
.
Schteveo

Friday, April 18, 2014

This week's Phriday Phunny, is all about Disney cancelling their next Movie Project


After the success of 2009's "The Princess and the Frog", which included Disney's first African-American Princess, they had tentatively announced a remake of "Snow White", featuring yet another African-American Princess.  

CNN reported today however, that the Disney organization's new film, called "Jet Black: the African-American Snow White”, has been cancelled.

All of the seven dwarfs -- Dealer, Stealer, Mugger, Forger, Drive By, Homeboy, and Shank -- have refused to sing "Hi Ho" because they say it offends and belittles black prostitutes.

They also say, they have NO intention of EVER singing, "It's off to work we go!''

.
.
Schteveo

Friday, April 11, 2014

Some Phun for a Phriday

Rambling, yet thought provoking, mental hijinks.

I'm not saying, let's go kill all the stupid people.  
I'm simply saying, let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out Darwinian style.

I changed my car horn to gun shot sounds.  
People REALLY move out of the way much faster now.
 
You can't always tell a lot about a woman's mood, just by her hands.  
But, if she is holding a gun, she's probably angry.
 
Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers.  
Now they drink like their fathers.
 
You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone?  
That's common sense leaving your body.
 
I don't like making plans for the day.
Invariably, the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in  courtrooms.

I didn't make it to the gym again today.  
That makes thirty-five years in a row!

Then again, I decide to stop calling the bathroom the 'john', now I call it the 'jim'.
I feel so much better about myself, saying I went to the 'jim' first thing this morning.

I don't understand paranoid people who check under their beds or behind their shower curtains for muggers, murderers or terrorists.
If they find one, what's their plan exactly?

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Hypocrisy goes ALL the way, to the BOTTOM of the Barrel!!!

So, one of the things that I know from a partly mis-spent youth is the following.  "Snitches get Stitches!!"   And the epitome of that sentiment today in America, comes from the African-American Community.  Small children on school buses I've driven knew these rules.

I've seen and worked with guys who would cut their mother, if she ratted them out.  White or black.  Groups of young black or Spanish 'youth' have been know to go after priests and ministers who 'wronged' them, or talked to police or who they THOUGHT had talked to the police.

Then, the group most people know that should NEVER be talked about, the Mafia.

That being the case, given all these things among different and divergent groups, then WHY is Al Sharpton still breathing?  Just the idea that he's a rat, you would think, would get him a bad case of lead poisoning, or maybe he'd fall down a flight of steps or two..


The Rev. Al Sharpton admitted on Tuesday that he helped the FBI investigate New York Mafia figures in the 1980s, even making secret recordings that appeared to help bring down a mob boss.

But at a news conference, Sharpton insisted he never considered himself a confidential informant, despite a report identifying him as the "CI-7" referenced in recently released court records.

"I was never told I was an informant with a number," Sharpton told reporters at his Harlem headquarters in response to the report posted Monday on The Smoking Gun website. "In my own mind, I was not an informant. I was cooperating with an investigation."


Personally, again just personally, it seems like a fine line, of nuanced, rhetorical, semantics to make, the difference on being a brat, and in assisting an investigation.  He didn't 'know' he had a number and that he was an informant?  Aw, BS!

Sharpton would NEVER have spokn to anyone in a position of authority, without a lawyer handy.  He had too much to lose by doing so.  It's just more talking point, words said to offset words said, so that Sharpton can keep his paycheck and his lifestyle.  I wonder how Tawana Brawley is doing tonight?

I'm betting she's not worth the Rev's $5M.  I love these clowns and hopefully, there's a special place in hell for them.
.
.
Schteveo

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Another Fort Hood shooting!!

Not much known yet, but how MUCH do we need to know to understand that DIS-ARMING the people we train to protect us, is just friggin' stupid!!!

Four people are confirmed dead and at least 14 people are injured following a shooting at the Fort Hood army post Wednesday evening, according to the House Homeland Security Chair and U.S. Representative from Texas Michael McCaul.  CBS News confirms the shooter is among the dead and was killed by a self-inflicted wound.  The shooter has been identified as a soldier.  He has been identified at 34-year-old Ivan Lopez.  The shooting reportedly started as the result of a dispute between soldiers.

Great, we know who did it.  But why the f**k don't these guys carry on the base so thery can defend themselves and others!?

It's about time for a TOTAL change of 'leadership' in this country.  It's more than obvious that they ones we have now, only care about their own @$$es!

Schteveo 

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

The ever changing world...improvement or no?

Interesting.  As I began this post I noticed that at 9:18 PDT, we have had over 240 visitors to our little corner of the bloggosphere, but no comments.

So, I am on day two of my new job.  I have been home all of 3 nights since early February.  I hope Poots enjoyed the little gust from mother nature yesterday, It doesn't look like it is going to be a nice day up here in lovely Winslow.  But hey, the company is providing a brand new house for me and one other guy to use when we are here and I am Earning Money Sleeping. 

Now for the good part.....if you can call this good.....

I was in Denver a couple of weeks ago, staying at the perpetually under construction Red Lion Inn in Aurora.  I was given a luxurious 8th floor room overlooking the intersection of South Parker and 225.  It actually isn't bad, except that the heater was broken and only had two settings, off and sauna. The buffalo rib-eye wasn't bad, but still didn't compare to a good 16 oz at Outback.  But I digress....One of the nice things about the hotel is that there is a $250 per day charge for smoking in the rooms.  Being a chronic non-smoker, I appreciate that. 

After a semi-strenuous week of training (strenuous by way of not allowing sharp pointed objects in your hands after noon because you might stab yourself in the eye), my cohort had Saturday afternoon and Sunday off.  We rented a car and took a nice trip up to Vail and people watched the souls with more dollars than sense.  Sunday night met us with the anticipation of more of the same for the following 4 days.  At about 10 at night I was browsing Netflix for anything else that might have Gemma Arterton in it.  I thought she did a credible job in Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, so thought I would see what else she had out.

Suddenly, my ears were assaulted by this horrendous noise, and I saw the alarm strobe above my door start to flash.  I thought to myself...great, some idiot construction dude tripped an alarm.  Then I thought, "well, I am on the 8th floor, maybe I should head out."  So I grabbed by tablet & hard drive, put my pants & shoes back on, grabbed a jacket, and headed for the stairwell and down to the 12 degree weather outside.

We passed the 7th and 6th floors.  At the 5th we could smell wiffs of some kind of burning material, but as yet unidentifiable.  On the 4th it started to take on a sickly sweet stentch, then somebody on the 3rd floor opened the door.  Immediately the burning material was identified as a green cloud of smoke rolled into the stair well.  At which point, we all held our breath because we knew that we would be "randomly" tested sometime in the following 4 days.  Since I am now in the transportation industry, that would be a bad thing.  Can you imagine how much dope someone has to smoke in order to set off a fire alarm?  Open forum:  Does anyone know the answer to that?

Thoughts...The war on drugs:  Like every other war that our government has waged since 1947; it is a war to be waged, but not to be won.  There is no money in winning. 

Should our government be involved in regulating drugs?  I don't have the answer for that.  I have an opinion. Prohibition did not work at the beginning of the 20th century, all it did was increase crime.  Does government regulation and restrictions on "entertainment" drugs have a place?  Is it useful?  Is it cost effective?  I am beyond beginning to wonder about some of those answers.

Conversely, there is a requirement to protect the public.  How far should the government go to protect a person from themselves?  A meth-head is going to get his fix.  He knows what it is going to do to him eventually, but he still has to get it.  The same goes for pretty much every other mind altering substance.  But the same can be said for pretty much anything that is abused, all the way down to the 128 oz Big Gulp at 7-11. 

In the interest of debate, what are our collective thoughts on this?  Me, the hardest substance I consume is the occasional Coke....Pepsi in a pinch, but I think it is too sweet. Drink of choice, A&W or Squirt.  Tobacco?  Really good for keeping the aphids out of my fruit trees.  Alcohol makes a good antiseptic.  But that is my choice.  It doesn't affect any other person that I choose not to imbibe.  For the most part, other peoples' use of these products do not affect me.  Until they do.

I do not like the smell of burning plants.  I like the smell of burning flesh even less.  But when you get in a crowded elevator after getting your "fix", maybe you should take the stairs instead.  It is true that you can't smell the stench, but now everyone else has to share it with you.  When you are getting your fix off of whacky tabaccy, it is just as bad.    I remember my days back in Uncle Sam's club for boys (male & female).  I hated Monday morning runs.  The smell from guys who had spent most of that months paycheck on liquid nourishment, made it really hard to find the remaining oxygen in the air.

Bottom line.  I am all for people having a choice in how they want to treat (abuse) their bodies.  But how about a little consideration for those of that don't want to, at least not in that way.  Freedom is a good thing, but freedom not to is a good thing too.

Friday, March 21, 2014

'shrooms and Ol' Spot

A group of friends from a local church wanted to get together on a regular basis, socialize, and play games.

The lady of the house was to prepare the meal. When it came time for Al and Jane to be the hosts, she wanted to outdo all the others.  Jane decided to have mushroom-smothered steaks. But, mushrooms are expensive.


She then told her husband, "I'm changing my menu, no mushrooms. They are too high."

He said, "Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty in the creek bed."

She said, "No, some wild mushrooms are poison."

He said, "Well, I see varmints eating them and they're OK."

So Jane decided to give it a try. She picked a bunch, washed, sliced, and diced them for her smothered steak.

Then she went out on the back porch and gave Al's dog Ol' Spot a
double handful cooked in some butter. Ol' Spot ate every bite!

All morning long, Jane watched Ol' Spot and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to affect him, so she decided to use them. The meal was a great success, and Jane had even hired a helper lady from town to help her serve. She had on a white apron and a fancy little cap on her head.

After everyone had finished, they relaxed, socialized, and played 42 & Mexican Dominoes.

About then, the helper lady from town, came in and whispered in Jane's ear.


She said, "Mrs. Williams, Ol' Spot is dead!


Jane went into hysterics.  After she finally calmed down, Al called the doctor and told him about the mushrooms and the dead dog.

The doctor said, "That's bad, but I think we can take care of it.
I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quick as possible.
We'll give everyone enemas and we will pump out everyone's stomach. Everything will be fine. Just keep them calm."

Soon they could hear the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road. The EMTs & the doctor had their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump.

One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an
enema and pumped out their stomach. After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, "I think everything will be fine now, and he left."

They were all looking pretty weak sitting around the living room and about this time, the helper lady came in and said,

"You know, it was right mean of that fellow that ran over Ol' Spot, he never even slowed down n'er stopped!"

.
.
Schteveo