Friday, April 11, 2014

Some Phun for a Phriday

Rambling, yet thought provoking, mental hijinks.

I'm not saying, let's go kill all the stupid people.  
I'm simply saying, let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out Darwinian style.

I changed my car horn to gun shot sounds.  
People REALLY move out of the way much faster now.
 
You can't always tell a lot about a woman's mood, just by her hands.  
But, if she is holding a gun, she's probably angry.
 
Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers.  
Now they drink like their fathers.
 
You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone?  
That's common sense leaving your body.
 
I don't like making plans for the day.
Invariably, the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in  courtrooms.

I didn't make it to the gym again today.  
That makes thirty-five years in a row!

Then again, I decide to stop calling the bathroom the 'john', now I call it the 'jim'.
I feel so much better about myself, saying I went to the 'jim' first thing this morning.

I don't understand paranoid people who check under their beds or behind their shower curtains for muggers, murderers or terrorists.
If they find one, what's their plan exactly?

27 comments:

OSCAR Madison said...

Then they fire through the door like Biden suggested and kill their model girl girlfriend named Reeva.

Schteveo R said...

Watching some of that kangaroo court in South Africa, tells me to NEVER visit South Africa!!

It seems to me that there is NO premise of innocent until proven guilty in their legal system. Even the Senior Judge was jumping Pistorius' ass this morning on BBC News. I'm pretty sure that your case is headed south when the JUDGE tells you to tell the truth. And if she says you're NOT mixing up your answers because you're simply tired, as you'd just said, your probably losing the case.

And how the hell would you NOT be tired if the entire legal system of the country was trying to prove you guilty.

It almost seems as if the judge and prosecutor both act as agents of the prosecution. The senior judge is certainly NOT just an agent of the court who has the role of running the trial and having both sides stay within the bounds of the law, the way a criminal court judge here should.

Huge Ass wit Fake Tits said...

Eric Holder's personnel Wet Dream.

member, your safety is in my BUD stained hands said...

O and a huge ass and fake tits were what I was looking at across the table at this boring staff meeting I was at.

Huge Ass - Fake Boobs said...

Did I mention she's stupid as well?

Huge Ass - Fake Boobs said...

Did I mention she's stupid as well ?

POOTS Poots Poots......... said...

Fuck this place is so empty more there's sign echo.

Toasted Testicles on Rye said...

Ok, now you Fukkers have asked for it.

Axed 4 What...... said...


QUE?

Oy Vay said...


Si, QUE.

AGAIN.

Mas? said...

Si, QUE........ Again!

Si. Ey Yam MekHeKann said...


Por Quando Quando Quando!

Schteveo R said...

Comments are at 12.

Seems like somebody needs as many steps!

QUE said...



Ahhhhh....... est uno y dos!

Dozy Dotes said...


Dat est: Diez y Dos

QUE said...



QUE?

Anonymous said...

What, no witty repartee from the peanut gallery?

A. D. Clay said...


SUCKIN MY DIK !

Phunthy Tadas said...

K

Phenol Soaked Weiners said...

Now, THAT is what I call Witty Repartee.

So what do all you limp C. SPONGIOSUM / Cavernosum have to say to THAT?

Have To Say said...

QUE!

WIENER EARS said...

QUE?

SMEGMA BREATH said...

QUE?

Gash Fumagater said...

Si, you hab Shmegma Breth

QUE said...


Eye Chi Wow Wow. I jus hab a Shmegma Sammich for dee launch, I theenkx.

blue said...

in this this drivel it seems like Poots is playing with himself again...

Poot Kam Karrie said...

Blew, U R BAK. Glad to read U.


MAYBE I WON'T HAVE T9TO BE THE SOLE SOURCE OF FUN, INLLIGENCE, WIT AND
PORNOGRAPHIC STIMULATION IN THIS GAGGLE..

ON THE OTHER HAND, I GUESS I WILL.


Eat me