Two rednecks, Bubba and Jim Bob, are sitting on the front porch of their hunting cabin in Colorado.
It's the day before Elk Season opens, and as luck would have it, a huge male elk walks right up the drive way, stands about 15 feet from the porch, and starts trumpeting loudly for a female.
Jim Bob grinning from ear to ear, shakes his head then punches his hunting partner on the shoulder, and says, "Bubba, I hope old big boy there finds himself a girlfriend and knocks off a couple today, 'cause tam'arah he's mine!"
Bubba looks at him and says, "Aw hell, he'll do more'n that! Didn't you know that elks have sex 10 to 15 times a day?"
"WHAT!!", says his Jim Bob, "and just last week, I joined the damned VFW!"