So, I get a phone call from my idiot brother who USED to work running the kitchen at an upscale burger place. He needs to borrow some money because he got fired last week.
"OK, I'll bite, but WHY did you get fired THIS time bruh?"
"...well", says he, "...a couple months ago we started getting complaints that the pickles we make for our burgers and sandwhiches, were squishy or soft.''
"HUH...wtf does THAT have to...", says I.
"Shut up and I'll tell you!", says he. "So, to make sure we didn't serve bad pickles, we put a pickle tester in the kitchen, and for the last 6 months, I've been dying to stick my...uh, my, well, um....".
"OK, I GET IT pervo, but why did you get fired!!??"
"...so the other night, I was the last one in the kitchen...well, it was me and the pickle tester, and just after I 'mounted', here comes the boss...so I got fired."
"Well, YUCK!!!! And remind ME not to eat there ever again dude! But what did they do with the now defiled pickle tester?", says I.
"Oh, they fired her too, we've got a date tomorrow night and THAT'S why I need to borrow some MONEY!!!"
That's when I hung up on him.