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On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife. It paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.
After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, and handed his ticket to the medicine man. The old shaman produced a small bottle, handed it to him and, with a grip on his shoulder, warned, "This is powerful medicine and must be respected. You take only a teaspoonful and then say '1-2-3'. When you do that, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life and you can perform as long as you want."
As the man turned to leave he asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?" "Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,' " the medicine man responded. "But when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."
Very eager to see if it really worked, the man rushed home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he opened his robe and said, "1-2-3!" Immediately, he was the manliest of men.
His wife became very excited and began throwing off her clothes. Breathing hard, she said, "What was the 1-2-3 for?"
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.
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Schteve
11 comments:
I suppose in some cases that could be a 'dangling mooseticiple'.
A cowboy from Texas attends a social function where Barack Obama is trying to gather more support for his Health Plan. Once he discovers the cowboy is from President Bush's home area, he starts to belittle him by talking in a southern drawl and single syllable words.
As he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head. The cowboy says, "Y'all havin' a problem with them circle flies?"
Obama stopped talking and said, "Well, yes, if that's what they're called, but I've never heard of circle flies."
"Well Sir," the cowboy replies, "circle flies hang around ranches. They're called circle
flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."
"Oh",Obama replies as he goes back to rambling. But, a moment later he stops and bluntly asks, "Wait a minute, are you calling me a horse's ass?"
"No, Sir," the cowboy replies, "I have too much respect for the citizens of this country to call their President a horse's ass."
"That's a good thing," Obama responds and begins rambling on once more.
After a long pause, the cowboy, in his best Texas drawl says, "Hard to fool them flies, though."
Dangle? I HARDly think there A-NannerMouse.
Ya'll puts a shtamp owm Missys haid an affa She goin tell ya'll wut a danglin Part-i-Moose-i-Piple goin taste like
LOL! Nice job Stevie.
Yo Poots, you're wastin your time.
Bubba walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Bubba said: 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.
Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Bubba what he had.
Bubba said, 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical histor y and told Bubba to wait in the examining room.
A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, 'Shingles.' So the nurse gave Bubba a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Bubba to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.
An hour later the doctor came in and found Bubba sitting patiently in the nude and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, 'Shingles.' The doctor asked, 'Where?'
Bubba said, 'Outside on the truck. Where do you want me to unload 'em??'
An dat is why she shoulda been wunnering how she wus goin shtop her tonsils frum bleedin after daq count o wun.
Et be a Beetch, dudes... ya'll dew er emn de troat B4 ewe krack her krack wit a krack kracker mambo schtick.
capice?
Esto Esta Las FeeeeeengarPoooootz
Okay - speaking of Bubba...
"Doctor, I have one of them phobias" said Bubba to the psychiatrist.
"Well, Bubba, We can work through this, and I'll show you how most phobias are ungrounded." said the psychiatrist.
"WHOA! You ARE good!" said Bubba. "How didja know I have a fear of heights?"
EAT ME
Good jokes, especially those about some moose participle guy, attempting to deflower a woman that daon wan 'im.
High Sterical!!
We're amazing! With the country going down the crapper, with guns and ammo being stockpiled for that coming day, we still have a sense of humor! We really are special. Too bad Annie abandoned us and didn't get to see how we've grown.
I sometimes think we laugh to keep from crying Spider. But it's still laughter. It's honest and human.
Did you ever see a Liberal laugh?
No, because they are always too worried about world hunger or global warming or AIDS among cats. I mean God forbid that they show any real human reaction to life or to show anything as plebian, as humor.
Unless, of course, the joke is on, about or at the expense of anyone who IS NOT a liberal Democrat living in NYC, L.A. or Washington D.C.
It's all so much BS as to be ridiculous. Because it's usually making fun of our love of freedom, love of our heritage or our love and respect for our heritage.
But they don't even laugh at those jokes. They titter, under their breath, because it's not good to laugh or have a sense of humor, in a world that George Bush screwed up.
And don't you miss the utopia we had before "W" took office?
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