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Joss Whedon is trying to buy the rights to the whole Terminator idea. Jonah Goldberg is about to build Skynet to stop the Whedon.
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But I think the re-makes are a good idea. They remind us just how good the originals were. Or were they?
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This is so easy it's a wonder no one does it for real. Hollywood loves a remake, so just work off the AFI Top 100 list. I've got 5 right now. I'll do more later if I get a chance.
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(these have a time mark and my name on them, is that good enough for a copyright?)
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1. Citizen Terminator - The liquid metal Terminator goes back to take the place of Charles Foster Kane, so he can kill John Connor’s GG Grandfather, played by Joseph Cotton. But he never finds Cotton or John and dies alone, lamenting the loss of his favorite gun, Rose Bud. "Ahnold isn't born yet, but Hitler is, see plot #3.
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2. The Terminatorfather – John “Sonny” Con’orleone is cut down at a toll booth by cleverly disguised robots, so the robots can take control of unions and book making in NJ and NY. Skynet is used to run illegal gambling for the mob. Skynet wins the state house in NJ, but as a Republican.
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3. Terminator Blanca – the Terminator must travel back to N. Africa , during WWII, to buy guns to kill John Connor, who ran there from Paris. Ultimately, John escapes with Ilsa, that Norwegian dude gets a hill of beans. The robots join the Nazis, the Nazis are their kinda guys. The robots get to Hiroshima on a secret mission for the Fuhrer, just as a lone plane flies over…
4. Raging Terminator – just add “Raging” to the title of any existing movie. Re-release it with more CGI explosions, louder sound, but ONLY on Blue-Ray. The fans will be Raging mad for sure.
5. Terminating in the Rain – John Connor attempts to hide in the chorus line of, “A Chorus Line”. But the liquid metal robot shows up morphed into the form of another male dancer, and you know how they are...happily ever after in the West Village. Nobody dies, they simply love everybody!!
95 good choices left. Show me what YOU'VE got. 5 more in the 1st comment.
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Schteveo likes a good flick, these ain't it
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4 comments:
...and to round out the AFI top 10...
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6. Gone with the Terminator – John Connor and the original Terminator, on different sides, after time jumping back to the Civil War. Huge battles, CGI explosions with overlays of Atlanta burning. Connor accidently shoots Lincoln who he thinks is the liquid metal guy. This movie was 3 ½ hours long, so I left and I don’t know how it ends.
7. Terminator of Arabia – John and “Ahnold” again, lots of camels, long shots in the desert, but in the end, they wind up as “room mates” in Algiers. The liquid metal guy melts in the desert heat. John is killed eventually, he wrecks his Triumph motorcycle in England.
8. Terminator’s List – they’ve all got a list, it started with a list, kill everybody on the list, blah, blah, blah…the damned list. It’s been done.
9. Vertigo - hmmm…?...uh, they could…ummmm…a robot chases a guy across a roof, then…John…falls out of a tower...hmmm…truly, I got nothin’. It’s hard to make fun of Hitchcock. And it’s dangerous. He’s got those killer birds, Martin Landau and Tony Perkins. Even that liquid metal dude’s afraid of Tony Perkins I’ll bet.
10. The Terminator of Oz – John Connor is blown to a mysterious land by an atomic tornado, he’s followed there by the terminators, the savior terminator loses his CPU and they have to ask the Wizard for a new one, then, after some arching and sparking, “Ahnold” realizes he’s really a witch, named Glinda. The liquid metal robot gets his butt kicked by Glinda the Good Robot of the West. Most of the Ewocks get killed in the battle…um Munchkins, yeah it was Munchkins. John escapes in a balloon. “Ahnold stays behind to protect Oz.
OK kids, there are 90 good AFI choices left. Whaddya got? Or re-re-make one of mine. I dare you to use Hitchcock. Go ahead, make my day.
Stevie old bud, me thinks you have too much time on your hands.
BTW, have you tried out that new piece you bought?
NOT enough time in a day to shoot it yet. And crazy ideas like that movie stuff are easy for my twisted mind given my movie knowledge and trivia data banks.
I have no effing idea where my keys are some days, but I can remember trivia 'til the cows come home.
Hoping to shoot both the new Ruger and the old SKS on our turkey day trip to Louisville. I've got a cousin with n 8 acre spread there.
Turkey on Thursday, guns on Friday. Not a bad trip, I'm looking forward to it.
Broke Back Terminator Mountain.
Two male terminators who have been killing together for years get their wires crossed and suddenly start a romatic relationship with each other.
People in the theater are uncomfortable... But they pretend to liek the movie so as not to offend any gay terminators out there.
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