Burning Questions Of The Day:
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they already know there is not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars; but have to check when you say the paint is still wet?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
If people evolved from apes,why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the correct end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
16 comments:
...well, in my case, my father-in-law WAS a joke.
Why do actors get whacked in one movie and come back in another? Why can't they stay as dead as their careers?
Do your kids go to school in Detroit?
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,588138,00.html
"Send him to Detroit"
Yo sit on your own face and..............................................
ROTATE
WaDaFug?
Alweena
I'm 'Hung Like A NannerMouse'
ROTATE ON YOUR OWN FACE ...XXXXR-MOUSE
I don't know about the rest of you, but i'm getting confused.
That's because you don't have a name, like to horse with the same no name song which makes no sense. Capeesh?
And confuzed is as good as it goin git fer you NannerMouse'
Now go eat 'Eat Me'.
My money is on the real, the genuine, the true, brother Poots!
From the, There Goes Your Tax Money file;
Some have said that the stimulus hasn't saved any jobs, but here is a case where at least one job was saved.
According to an unnamed source, Oregon State University Athletic Director Bob DeCarolis was considering firing their basketball coach, Craig Robinson, after an 8-11 start (2-5 in the Pac 10 conference).
When word of this reached Washington, Undersecretary of Education Martha Kanter was dispatched to Corvallis with $17 million in stimulus money for the university. The source now says that Craig Robinson's job is safe for this year.
For the record, Coach Robinson just happens to be Michelle Obama's brother.
Oh, bother!
er... brother!
Could this be our BOW?
A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place.
A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.
He then takes off his trousers and again washes his hands. The girl has been watching him and says: "You must be a dentist."
The guy, surprised, says: "Yes .... How did you figure that out?"
"Easy.." she replies, "you keep washing your hands."
One thing leads to another and they make love. After it's over the girl says: "You must be a good dentist."
The guy, now with an inflated ego, says: "Sure - I'm a good dentist. How did you figure that out?"
The girl replies: "Didn't feel a thing."
No necrophilia for me. She's obviously dead.
Don't knock it till you try it!
Post a Comment