If Men Ruled The World
1. Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number.
2. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I love you."
3. Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.
4. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to
you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the
screen during a time-out.
5. Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the NFL team of your choice.
6. The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
7. "Sorry I'm late, but I got really wasted last night" would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.
8. At the end of the workday, a whistle would
blow and you'd jump out your window and slide down the tail of a
brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone.
9. It'd be considered harmless fun to gather 30 friends, put on horned helmets, and go pillage a nearby town.
10. When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-alack answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine.
As in: Cop: "You know how fast you were going?" You: "All I know is, I
was spilling my beer all over the place." Cop: "Nice one. That's $10
11. Tanks would be far easier to rent.
12. Garbage would take itself out.