But on a personal note...

Over the years since I joined this group, I've been very active at times, quite absent other times.  Invariably, my health was the driving factor keeping me away.  And over the last 4 or 5 months, I've been further down, in more pain, and confused.  I've been the weakest I ever felt since I first became sick 22 years ago. 

Going back from Friday afternoon, to the holidays, it seems like my memory is on ping pong balls poured out on the floor.  When we talked over the last few days here at home, I can remember things that have happened, if someone says, "..but we did X, Y or Z for Easter.", I can remember the instance, but there is no continuity to life in general.

I remember that ping pong ball, but the ones in front or behind, I can't put in order.

By the time I got to Friday afternoon last, I had been awake for most of a solid week.  I would sleep a few minutes, or a half hour.  I slept just 90 minutes from Wed morning at around 06:30, until I headed to the E/R at 18:00 on that Friday.  But somewhere around 18:30, I went totally bozo, off the hook, stark raving nuts.  I had a complete and total psychotic break, losing it so far as to be pounding my head on a door frame, punching holes in the hallway walls, and begging my family to kill me, so that I could get some relief from the pain.

They managed to get a muscle relaxer into me, called a ambulance and then got me to the nearest E/R.

At the E/R they ran a ton of tests, did CT scans, did a number of x-rays, all while I climbed the walls in pain.  When the E/R doc finally came in, he started asking me about my medical history, going back decades.  He asked me if I was willing to try something a little, as he put it, out in left field.  I was willing to grasp any thread of hope he was willing to extend, so told him I'd do it.  That was around 21:30.  At 22:00, the nurse got me to sit up on the hospital gurney, and she hooked up a HUGE syringe to my IV.

Friends, buddies, pals, I took the most intense, warmest, fuzziest TRIP of my life.  In the 'real' world it was about 30 minutes, but I had no concept of time.  At 35 minutes I was standing up, walking in the E/R treatment room.  By 22:45 I was no longer high, I had no residual effects at all.

Except that ALL my pain was gone, my muscle wear sore, but not twitching like they had been 45 minutes before, nor cramping.  The other physical symptoms I had were gone also.  Hell, even my sinuses have cleared up.   Beyond that, my mind is clear.  Last Friday night, although I'd been awake the better part of 60 hours, I felt strong, stronger than I'd felt since the week between Christmas and New Years.

Here's the miracle, they gave me a 10 minute infusion of Ketamine.

I simply cannot tell you the difference in the before and after.  Looking back to Friday and before, it's just those ping pong balls scattered in front of me.  If YOU point at a ball, I remember that instance, but not what happened immediately before or after.  Since Friday night, I've been out to work in the garden some.  I've been out checking the bee hive.  I drove this morning, for the first time since early March.

My health history tells me that the Ketamine is not a long term cure all.  After talking to my family and all of us putting our heads together, we're pretty sure that over the years, I've had ketamine a number of times.  It is primarily used as part of the cocktail they give people going under general anaesthesia.  And we're certain that over the years the periods where I was feeling the best, it was because of the ketamine.

We've done hours of online research now, and it's a drug that's been around for years.  Doctors have been using it for years.  But the pain mngt usage is new.  Or at least there's a resurgence of it being used this way.  They started doing it some in the 1990's but it never truly got wide usage.

Well, that's the whole of it. 

Other than this, I'm going to go back through all my medical records and even oral surgery docs, to see who has given me ketamine.  I've had this boost before and no one could explain it.  So I'm going to find out how much and when in the past I've had ketamine.  We feel like it's a no brainer that I had it when they did my stent last November.  For anyone who is interested, shoot me an e-mail, or ask questions in the comments section.
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Schteveo