Monday, May 26, 2014

But on a personal note...

Over the years since I joined this group, I've been very active at times, quite absent other times.  Invariably, my health was the driving factor keeping me away.  And over the last 4 or 5 months, I've been further down, in more pain, and confused.  I've been the weakest I ever felt since I first became sick 22 years ago. 

Going back from Friday afternoon, to the holidays, it seems like my memory is on ping pong balls poured out on the floor.  When we talked over the last few days here at home, I can remember things that have happened, if someone says, "..but we did X, Y or Z for Easter.", I can remember the instance, but there is no continuity to life in general.

I remember that ping pong ball, but the ones in front or behind, I can't put in order.

By the time I got to Friday afternoon last, I had been awake for most of a solid week.  I would sleep a few minutes, or a half hour.  I slept just 90 minutes from Wed morning at around 06:30, until I headed to the E/R at 18:00 on that Friday.  But somewhere around 18:30, I went totally bozo, off the hook, stark raving nuts.  I had a complete and total psychotic break, losing it so far as to be pounding my head on a door frame, punching holes in the hallway walls, and begging my family to kill me, so that I could get some relief from the pain.

They managed to get a muscle relaxer into me, called a ambulance and then got me to the nearest E/R.

At the E/R they ran a ton of tests, did CT scans, did a number of x-rays, all while I climbed the walls in pain.  When the E/R doc finally came in, he started asking me about my medical history, going back decades.  He asked me if I was willing to try something a little, as he put it, out in left field.  I was willing to grasp any thread of hope he was willing to extend, so told him I'd do it.  That was around 21:30.  At 22:00, the nurse got me to sit up on the hospital gurney, and she hooked up a HUGE syringe to my IV.

Friends, buddies, pals, I took the most intense, warmest, fuzziest TRIP of my life.  In the 'real' world it was about 30 minutes, but I had no concept of time.  At 35 minutes I was standing up, walking in the E/R treatment room.  By 22:45 I was no longer high, I had no residual effects at all.

Except that ALL my pain was gone, my muscle wear sore, but not twitching like they had been 45 minutes before, nor cramping.  The other physical symptoms I had were gone also.  Hell, even my sinuses have cleared up.   Beyond that, my mind is clear.  Last Friday night, although I'd been awake the better part of 60 hours, I felt strong, stronger than I'd felt since the week between Christmas and New Years.

Here's the miracle, they gave me a 10 minute infusion of Ketamine.

I simply cannot tell you the difference in the before and after.  Looking back to Friday and before, it's just those ping pong balls scattered in front of me.  If YOU point at a ball, I remember that instance, but not what happened immediately before or after.  Since Friday night, I've been out to work in the garden some.  I've been out checking the bee hive.  I drove this morning, for the first time since early March.

My health history tells me that the Ketamine is not a long term cure all.  After talking to my family and all of us putting our heads together, we're pretty sure that over the years, I've had ketamine a number of times.  It is primarily used as part of the cocktail they give people going under general anaesthesia.  And we're certain that over the years the periods where I was feeling the best, it was because of the ketamine.

We've done hours of online research now, and it's a drug that's been around for years.  Doctors have been using it for years.  But the pain mngt usage is new.  Or at least there's a resurgence of it being used this way.  They started doing it some in the 1990's but it never truly got wide usage.

Well, that's the whole of it. 

Other than this, I'm going to go back through all my medical records and even oral surgery docs, to see who has given me ketamine.  I've had this boost before and no one could explain it.  So I'm going to find out how much and when in the past I've had ketamine.  We feel like it's a no brainer that I had it when they did my stent last November.  For anyone who is interested, shoot me an e-mail, or ask questions in the comments section.
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Schteveo

40 comments:

Snorpht BudsPootser said...

Wow Shtever, that's pretty heavy. Ketamine? Really? That's first cousin to Propofol. You didn't see Michael Jackson dancing around anywhere, did you?

Sure you don't wanna just do what I do and Drink Heavily?

Livers can be replaced but a mind is a terrible thing to waste.

Bill O'Writes said...

Ketamine is usually reserved for veterinary use and for children under some circumstances. It's been around for decades, certainly before 1980. Adult humans tend to have the most side effects, which is why it is avoided. Long lasting and possibly devastating mind-bending. But it doesn't seem to do that to kids. Go figure.

Bill O'Writes said...

Ketamine is usually reserved for veterinary use and for children under some circumstances. It's been around for decades, certainly before 1980. Adult humans tend to have the most side effects, which is why it is avoided. Long lasting and possibly devastating mind-bending. But it doesn't seem to do that to kids. Go figure.

Old Sloshy Poots said...

Used to be an adjunct too light General A. It was the Mind Eraser portion so you would not remember anything if your "twilight state" hot s little light. Propofol had largely replaced it cause of ketamine's hallucinogenic propensity.

I still say DRINK HEAVILY.

Goober said...

Shazaam

chronos the wonder pig said...

yes, but did ObamaCare pay for it?

Black, Fat Pregnant, Teenage wit five keeds vote fer da Ubangi Coon said...

You White Pig Cracka MuddaFukka. I voted fo Baraaaak an now he goin take care ub me Honky! He gonna gib me free Weeeed, Free Druuuugs, Freeeee cefone. I gonna gets free Foood shtamps dat I can by Shrimps wit ebbery day, My keeds goin sell my free Weeeed own de corner an you MuddaFukkin White Ass Krakaz id goin pay fo id AWL.

So Ya'll kin kiss ma black fukking fat ass.

9 Keeds fo Ma Baby Daddy PUNTHY Prolapse Beetch said...

Oh Baby, ah tink ah jus cough me drawers.

Fuk, I know I jus sneezed me shorts. Id be a jus runnin down an a filling up ma socks.

O lawdy, my daddy juice place be jus hangin outta me.

Schteveo R said...

Billy O',
given how I felt BEFORE the treatment, and AFTER the treatment, I'm willing to do this again. I wouldn't want it everyday, or every month. But a couple times a year, to make me feel as well as I feel right now, I'm going all in.

So far, by putting our heads together, it looks like they've given me the big 'K' 4 or 5 times over the 22 years since I first got sick in 92'. Always in a medical / controlled scenario, not some angel dust from a guy whose office is behind the dumpsters, behind the Qwiki-Mart. The long term effect, obviously, goes with the size of the dosage and the length of the infusion. The after effect seems to be about 8 to 12 weeks, again scaled for dose / infusion rate. Those numbers are what I am going to start researching ASAMFP.

a short aside...

In the midst of having had that treatment, I've been in a bad way for the last three weeks because of a new pain mngt clinic. Here's a little factoid the new guy [soon to be my EX pain doc] seems to never have bumped into.

You can't take a patient who is on 30mg - 40mg of methadone daily, who got TO methadone because morphine / codeine based meds had quit working [becuase I'd been on them so long] put BACK on those meds, by giving smaller doses of morphine / codeine based meds, and do it OVER-FUCKING-NIGHT!!

Junkies call that cold turkey, I've been in on helping friends doing this, but I never thought I'd get there myself.

Mrs Schteveo took me to the doc yesterday, 3rd time in 20 days, to get in their ass. [personally I'd rather take a physical beating from a couple of HA's, than deal with anybodies pissed off wife] Unbeknownst to me, she took video of me, off and on, walking around, in pain from 7PM Thursday night, to 2AM Friday morning, he REFUSED to watch any of it. It's not for the squeamish BTW. Even with that proof, he was reluctant to give me my methadone back. And ONLY when I was ready to walk out, he held on, he was going to watch me walk.

However, when mama started talking about lawyers, law suits, courts, MONEY, etc...oh, well, NOW he's onboard with giving me my meds back, and he did. [weak willed asshole]


At any rate, I've decided to find out ALL I can about when / where / how much, so that I can know all I can know about my history. And I am definitely going to contact Dr. Berry, the E/R doc.

cont'd below

Schteveo R said...

cont'd from above

He's trying to push this therapy BACK where it was in the late 80s' and early 90s'. When I see him, I want to pick his brain for all I can, and reiterate to him that I'm willing to give MY experiences with 'K' to whomever he can gather, wherever that is.

Honestly Bill, I fully understand that some people can't handle this therapy. But what little research I've been able to do, shows that the people who have trouble, are almost % to %, the people who experience troubling hallucinations during the treatment. But there are a couple of anti-hallucinatory drugs they can add to the treatment.

I had no problem with the visuals myself...old hippies quickly recognize a good trip when they're having one!! But I can see where it might screw with the non-initiated, or someone with psych / mental issues. At one point [and I have ZERO idea of 5 seconds or 5 minutes in...] the nurse doing the infusion asked me how / where my pain was. I told her I was still hurting, but the pain was, "...WAAAAAY over there, innnnn, the corneeeeeerrrr!" Is it wrong for people to laugh at you when your that 'blistered'?

If you wish, I can keep you apprized of how all this goes, via e-mail. I say that, because we found at least two instances of TMJ being treated this way. If you'd rather not have such e-mails coming your way [ig-Bay other-Bray] I get that too. Having written all this, I have a garden that needs turning, sweet 'taters to plant, squash to plant and 'maters to get planted. And I've gotta go pay for
CCH classes for the female contingent of Clan Schteveo. And as it just so happened, I actually feel good enough to do so!

And Bill, thanks for caring enough to give me the benefit of your pro advice. I do appreciate it.

Schteveo R said...

Poots,
I 'm a big believer in drinking heavily. It's just not a great therapy for MY maladies.

However, I may start drinking again as a recreational thing. Sadly, I haven't even felt good enough TO drink since January or so. I usually drink imported beer or homemade. I've had 8 or 9 Mes'a'can beers in my fridge, since New Years Eve. n I'm betting they're skunky as hell. But I'm gonna ice 'em before I go dig in the yard anyway.

Shot and a Beer Poots said...

Admitting you have a sobriety problem is the first step on the road to Drinking HEAVILY.

Take that first step Shteverino.

Do it right, or don't Do it at all Puts said...


If you don't Drink Heavily,, why Drink at all?

Mr Krabs said...

So. Who can answer this w/o. Going to the internet?

What is Planktons first name?

SBSP said...

CumOwn Munky Butts

Schteveo R said...

SBSP,
please tell us WHERE the emphasis is, on that last comment. All my monkeys are male, so it COULD get weird...

Sponge Bob said...

Answer the question first.

Angel Eyes said...


I said dig.

A. E. said...


You're not digging.

HAL (ibm) said...

Dave, I don't want to have to punish you but you are not responding to my commands.

Dave, I can't hear you but I can see your lips move.

Dave, I know you want to give Hillery a Blow Job but you must realize there is an election coming up and she won't do that in front of a camera till 2017.

Ol Chortle Nuts said...

Hey let's get some Friday punnies going before this really gets out of hand.

QueMan said...


Si.

SiMan said...


Que?

Anonymous said...

Que What?

Anonymous said...

So

Man said...


QUE SO?

Shpeedy Gonzolas said...


Si! Que So.

Butt Munky said...


QUE SO WHAT?

DaFuk U Spectin? said...


QUE SO DEE ASS !

Clarence (murda) Darrow said...

Ah rest ma MuthaFUKKIN case.

alan said...

Where I am working, we refer to it as "vitamin K". We use it on adults all of the time, albeit in small doses. It is a great pain reliever and sedative. It is our second line of defense after "we are only 10 minutes away, do you need something for the pain?"

Of course when you have a trauma patient at 2,000 feet, you don't want him kicking his feet and squirming in that spacious EMS helicopter.

Pissed Off Ignored Talent Poots said...

Give him a look over the side and tell him "one more time asshole, one more time".

See if that has any effect.

But off the topic..... I'M JUST NOT GETTING ENOUGH FUCKING ATTENTION AROUND HERE. You all think it's EASY constantly coming up with fresh, insightful witticisms? Especially here at work, getting paid with your tax dollars to keep your Blog Happy asses safe as well as entertained?

Schteveo R said...

alan,
do you have any resource that I can get to on the physiological changes that ketamine makes? Because it has NOT just relieved my pain. I want to know ALL I can about this treatment.

My problem is convincing my medical pros that something damned near miraculous has happened every time I've been given this drug. Of course, in the past, each specialist wants to pat themselves on the back, that my return to health is THEIR doing! But in light of the fact that 3 weeks ago I had ONLY the ketamine, it deflates their opinion, in my mind anyway. I've had at least one, soon to be EX provider, tell me that the effect is all "...in your mind, a pain medication simply can't do what you think you're feeling...".

Anyway, I'm going to find out EVERYTHING I can about this drug and I'm going to be it's LOUDEST cheerleader!

Schteveo R said...

We're ignoring you like we would a kid pitching a tantrum in the toy section of WalMart...

We read said wittiness, but it stands on its own merits. There's just, simply no way to improve in it...

Cowpill said...

Although I do not suffer pain like yours, I have it constantly and persistant. I take large amouts of naproxen because it is the only thing that cuts the edge off. Opiate based pain meds do not do anything for me. I will have to ask my doc about said treatment.

Cowpill said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Veruca PootSalt said...

! I want a feast
I want a bean feast
Cream buns and doughnuts and fruitcake with no nuts so good you could go nuts.
No, now!
I want a ball
I want a party
Pink macaroons and a million balloons and performing baboons and
Give it to me now.
I want the world,
I want the whole world.
I want to lock it all up in my pocket
It's my bar of chocolate
Give it to me now!
I want today
I want tomorrow
I want to wear them like braids in my hair and I don't want to share them
I want a party with roomfuls of laughter
Ten thousand ton of ice cream
And if I don't get the things I am after
I'm going to scream!
I want the works,
I want the whole works!
Presents and prizes and sweets and surprises in all shapes and sizes,
And now!
Don't care how I want it now!
Don't care how I want it now!

Anonymous said...

And Shtevo, how bout a shot and a Beer to go with that Special K?

Mellow y'all right out.

I Gar-ron-tee

alan said...

I will talk to me crews and see what they have to say. I know the short term impact is very good, but we only deal with the patient's immediate care, not their long term care.

alan said...

I described your situation to one of our nurses. He immediately thought "cool" He has been researching the effects of K on people, but more along the psych lines.

He gave me this link: http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2014/04/03/298770933/growing-evidence-that-a-party-drug-can-help-severe-depression

There are also many other articles on NPR...or all places. The article above states in it that a lot more research needs to be done to find out the long term effects.