25 years in the future, George Bush, Tony Blair and Vladimir Putin have, unfortunately, gone 'south' after dying together in a plane crash. But being the Hades of the 21st Century, Satan informs them that they can make phone calls home, but the price is VERY expensive and has to be paid by the living, to a group chosen by Satan.
Putin makes a call home and after 3 or 4 minutes, Satan grabs the phone and tells his family that they must pay the equivalent of $50,000 to the U.S. Republican Party!
Blair makes a call home, and after just 2 minutes Satan grabs the phone and tells his family that they must pay the equivalent of $500,000 to the French Communist Party!
Our old buddy GWB makes a call home, talks for a couple of hours, he talks so long they have to round up people for him to talk to, he finally gets tired and hangs up. Bush walks away, but Blair and Putin are screaming and yelling about how unfair it is to just LET Bush talk that long. But not charging him anything for ALL that time is more than they can take.
Satan chuckles, shuffles his feet, looks at Putin and Blair and tells them, "...listen, I feel sorry for the guy!"
Putin and Blair are SCREAMING and yelling about how crazy it is for THE DEVIL to feel sorry for Bush!
"OK, I get it,I'm the Devil, I'm supposed to be giving ALL of you 'hell' down here," Satan tells them, "...but in the 30 years that Obama has been running the U.S., he's blamed ALL of HIS screw ups on Bush, and it's so close to being Hell on Earth in the United States now, that it's just a local call."
.
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Schteveo
12 comments:
and McCain has to pay a billion to the fucking illegals
No, he'd be paying REAL old fashioned, Patriotic Veterans in some real vet's association.
He needs to toss a plaque
Now here's a real joke.
Don't Bring A Bat To Rob A Gun Store;
An Oregon man learned the hard way yesterday that a bat is probably not the best tool for robbing a gun store.
22-year-old Derrick Mosley reportedly attempted to rob Discount Gun Sales in Beaverton, Ore., on Thursday.
Wielding a baseball bat, Mosley strolled into the store and smashed a display case.
But, according to police, upon attempting to steal a gun from the smashed case, he learned that gun beats bat.
All the store manager… of a gun store… had to do was pull out his own personal firearm. And that he did.
Pointing it straight at Mosley, the manager successfully ordered the would-be robber to drop the bat, the
unloaded gun he was trying to steal, and a nine-inch knife in his possession.
Upon arrival, the sheriff's department reportedly found Mosley on the floor, still being held at gunpoint by the furious manager.
The failed robber was booked on charges of first-degree robbery, first-degree theft, unlawful possession of a firearm, and
second-degree criminal mischief.
Add to that the mental crime of thinking a bat would be an effective tool for robbing a store full of guys with guns.
KATU-TV reports that Mosley's bail was set at $250,000...
He wanted to get arrested on something that ANY 1st year Public Defender could get lowered. He's got a tooth that needs filling or he's had a hemorrhoid acting up or some such crap.
"...your Honor, Mr. Mosely was in SO much pain..."
[...how much was he!?]
He was in SO much pain that he was delirious, he tried to rob a gun store with a bat!
I hear he was wearing a "I voted for Obama" T Shirt.
Tupid id ad tupid do.
JOKE:
How does a Hillbilly tell when hid Sissa be own da RAG?
(wait 4 it)..........
Tashtez blud own hid faddaz DICK
................Or wen he tashtez cum when he kizz hid Sissta own da faesh.
OR PUNTSY
Neural scientists at M.I.T. say they can plant false memories in your brain. No, that is not new. Politicians have been doing that for years. They're called campaign promises.
In a speech about the economy, President Obama said we've all been distracted by phony scandals. It's time we started getting distracted by the phony recovery.
The head of the TSA said beginning later this year people can pay an $85 fee that will allow them to go through the airport line very quickly with minimal checking. Or as terrorists call that, money well spent... -- Jay Leno
And I just watched "The Manchurian Candidate"! Seen it.
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