Saturday, September 7, 2013

Things To Think About

Think about it:

As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder... – John Glenn

America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked... – David Letterman

I'm not a paranoid, deranged millionaire, God dammit, I'm a billionaire.
– Howard Hughes

After the game, the King and the Pawn go into the same box... – Italian proverb

Men are like linoleum floors. Lay 'em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years.
– Betsy Salkkind

The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats.
– Jean Kerr

I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage.
– Zsa Zsa Gabor

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.
– Jeff Foxworthy

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
– Prince Philip

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
– Emo Philips

Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself... – Harrison Ford

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree... – Spike Milligan

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke... – Robin Hall

Kill one man and you're a murderer, kill a million and you're a conqueror.
– Jean Rostand

Having more money doesn't make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I'm just as happy as when I had 48 million... – Arnold Schwarzenegger

We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea.
– W.H. Auden

In hotel rooms I worry. I can't be the only guy who sits on the furniture naked.
– Jonathan Katz

If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead.
– Johnny Carson

I don't believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we're very skeptical.
– Arthur C Clarke

Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap... – Steve Martin


DIce Munky said...

Life is like Sex beby.

The more you put in.......

The more you get out.... Ohhhhhhwwww

PootsWeiser said...

I'm just sitting here thinking that if they took most of the water out of beer I wouldn't have to get up and piss so often. Then I would have more time to drink.

Anonymous said...

Ahh, the thinking mind.

AlSnorpht EinPootStein said...

Some times I sits and thinks.


Some times I just sits.

srk said...

other times you sh*t and stinks