Things To Think About

Think about it:

As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder... – John Glenn

America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked... – David Letterman

I'm not a paranoid, deranged millionaire, God dammit, I'm a billionaire.
– Howard Hughes

After the game, the King and the Pawn go into the same box... – Italian proverb

Men are like linoleum floors. Lay 'em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years.
– Betsy Salkkind

The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats.
– Jean Kerr

I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage.
– Zsa Zsa Gabor

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.
– Jeff Foxworthy

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
– Prince Philip

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
– Emo Philips

Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself... – Harrison Ford

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree... – Spike Milligan

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke... – Robin Hall

Kill one man and you're a murderer, kill a million and you're a conqueror.
– Jean Rostand

Having more money doesn't make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I'm just as happy as when I had 48 million... – Arnold Schwarzenegger

We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea.
– W.H. Auden

In hotel rooms I worry. I can't be the only guy who sits on the furniture naked.
– Jonathan Katz

If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead.
– Johnny Carson

I don't believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we're very skeptical.
– Arthur C Clarke

Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap... – Steve Martin