"Captain's log, Stardate 1513.1. Our position, orbiting planet M-113. On board the Enterprise, Mister Spock temporarily in command. On the planet the ruins of an ancient and long-dead civilisation. Ship's surgeon McCoy and myself are now beaming down to the planet's surface. Our mission, routine medical examination of archaeologist Robert Crater and his wife Nancy. Routine but for the fact that Nancy Crater is that one woman in Doctor McCoy's past."
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Thus began the first airing of a new television show, On September 8, 1966. The premise was the Enterprise doing a quick stop to do medical check ups. Right?! But what happens is far weirder!!
They encounter a creature that kills humans by sucking all the sodium from their bodies. Naturally, they kill the poor, ugly beast at the end of the episode. PETA didn't exist then as now, so there was little outcry for killing the last of a species. And now, 55 years later, I'm about to make a stark, and perhaps terrifying admission.
I am actually the LAST of that species!!!
And to prove it, I'm headed to Washington D.C., to suck the sodium out of anyone who wants to take sodium out of prepared foods, off the french fries in restaurants or off the tables of restaurants or homes in America!!
I LIKE IT HERE. It is, as military guys say, a target rich environment! Don't change that. Don't let some pointy headed liberal stop you from those fries, or a BLT with salted tomatoes! Eat some pasta.
(Alton Brown says make that cooking water taste like the ocean.YUM!)
Munch some saltines. Get a slice of anchovy pizza. Do it quickly, before the feds make salt look like moonshine! Because they are coming for your salt next!!!
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Schteveo
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