Saturday, August 18, 2012

Friday Funnies. A Day Late

Blonde Jokes:  ya gotta love 'em...

A friend told the blonde, "Christmas is on a Friday this year." The blonde then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."

Two blondes find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station. One asked, "What if one explodes before we get there?" The other says, "We'll lie and say we only found two."

A blonde is in the bathroom and her husband shouts, "Did you find the shampoo?" She says, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."

A blonde goes to the vet with her goldfish. "I think it's got epilepsy," she tells the vet. The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me." The blonde says, "I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet!"

A blonde spies a letter lying on her doormat. It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND" She spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.

A blonde's dog goes missing and she is frantic. Her husband says, "Why don't you put an ad in the paper?" She does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing. "What did you put in the paper?" her husband asks. "Here boy!" she replies.

A blonde is in jail. A guard looks in her cell and sees her hanging by her feet. "What the heck you doing?" he asks. "Hanging myself," the blonde replies. "It should be around your neck!" says the Guard. "I know," she replies, "but I couldn't breathe."

An Italian tourist asks a blonde, "Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats into the water?" To which the blonde replies, "If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."


Dat a a moutfull said...

2 Liberal Faggots we sukking on each other dik.

One FagLib says to the other "Mumph umnshi gulpuffa?".

The other FagLib replys "Woomff fafajugmm wuffolumspa!"

AH Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Get It?
Woomff fafajugmm wuffolumspa!"
AH Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Anonymous said...

Um,... let's guess who posted that.

Big Gulp said...

Wumpha mnumphtd jumjuz a kramdiddiling poo UFF Nannermous


AH Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Dirty Sanchez said...

You guys just crack me up.

Phil MacKracken, dyxlectdick said...

U guys up me crack!

Oprah Winfrey said...

Shut up Fill, or I'll give you a crack in the mouth.

Sally the Brown Haired Girl said...

...that's, like, totally mean! I'm a blonde and I'm not stupid like that! IN FACT, I dyed my hair brown, and I'm smarter now than I was before I dyed my hair. And it totally went with my new shoes, so I bought this cute new purse to go with my outfit, and we stopped for a drink and that's where I met Tony..he's a fireman from Chicago, or Cincinnati, yeah, it's Cincinnati...he's got these dreamy eyes and big muscles, hoooo, he's just so damned cute...what were we talking about? Oh yeah, new shoes. I just got these what'dya think?

They totally, like, go with my hair, right?!

Tip U'Kneel said...

Yes, Sally. Now I promise I'm just going to put the tip in for a moment......

My extraordinarily large genitals said... they need to say anything? I think that speaks for itself

Sally the Brown Haired Girl said...

I think you're kinda cute too Mr. Genitals. How big are your muscles?

MELG said...

As big as Michelles Butt

Gen I. Tals said...

My erectus femoris is quite large

Dr. Poots said...

Erectus femoris? Dude, you belong in a side show.