Tuesday, February 19, 2013

A REALLY early Friday Funny.

I was eating breakfast with my 8-year-old Grandson and I asked him, "What day is tomorrow?".

Without skipping a beat he said "It's President's Day!".

He's a smart kid. So I asked him "What does President's Day mean?".

I was waiting for something about Washington or Lincoln .... etc.

He replied, "President's Day is when President Obama steps out of the White House, and if he sees his shadow, we have 4 more years of Bull Shit."

You know, it hurts when hot coffee spurts out your nose!  And who knew Coffee Mate creamer 'smelled' like that?


Spider said...

Now that's one smart kid!


Lady: Do you drink?
Man: Yes
Lady: How much a day?
Man: 3 - six packs
Lady: How much per six pack
Man: About $10.00
Lady: And how long have you been drinking?
Man: 15 years
Lady: So 1 six pack cost $10.00 and you have 3 packs a day which puts your spending each month at $900. In one year, it would be $10,800 correct?

Man: Correct
Lady: If in 1 year you spend $10,800 not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending at $162,000 correct?

Man: Correct
Lady: Do you know that if you hadn't drank, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?

Man: Do you drink?
Lady: No
Man: Where's your fucking Ferrari?

Forrest Poot said...

Presidents day means breakout the horse whip, tar and feathers and go out and have a good time returning truth, justice and the American way.

O, and my "Ferrari" is going straightup her ass.
Vroom, vroom.

Anonymous said...

My neighbor was working in his yard when he was startled by a late model car that came crashing through his hedge and ended up in his front lawn.

He rushed to help an elderly lady driver out of the car, found she was basically unhurt, and sat her down on a lawn chair.

Still excited, he said "You appear quite elderly to be driving."

"Well, yes, I am," she replied proudly. "I'll be 99 next month, and I am now old enough that I don't even need a driver's license anymore. The man was puzzled and asked why.

She said, "The last time I went to my doctor, he examined me and asked if I had a driver's license. I told him yes and handed it to him. He took scissors out of the drawer, cut the license into pieces, and threw them in the waste basket, saying, 'You won't need this anymore,' so I thanked him and left!"