Sunday, February 10, 2013

Words Of Wisdom

Romance Mathematics:
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

Shopping Math:
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs. A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.

General Equations & Statistics:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

Propensity To Change:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

Discussion Technique:
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

How To Stop People From Bugging You About Getting Married:
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

From the wild and crazy minds at PIG...


Spider said...

Lately, for some odd reason, all my comments here have "disappeared" right after posting them. I just switched my browser from IE8 to Firefox. I'll see if this helps.

Spider said...

So far so good...

FukShooter said...


Schteveo said...

Ah the difference in men and women it's too small some days, too large on others. But as the French say, vive la difference!

And honestly, I know enough to 'understand' the mechanics of being gay. What I don't get is the urge to be around someone who, even in a limited way, is identical to WHO they are. And I understand the whole gay women who think like guys as opposed to gay women who think like women but like other women, and the similar situation with males.

But having worked with both gay men and gay women, outside of sexuality, in many ways they're still men and women. And God knows, I do NOT envy my wife living with ME, so WhyTF would I want to live with ME!??? There are days now where I don't like being around me.

And I'm too slow to run away from me.

Anonymous said...

You need a drink. Quick!

Schteveo said...

Nope, that would clash with my meds!

I've had a friggin' muscle spasm / back ache for almost 3 weeks. It keeps going from side to side and from my shoulder blades to my ass cheeks, on a rotating, non linear basis.

If you sprain an ankle or break an arm, you can prop it up or put it in a sling. You CANNOT get away from a sore back.

So...I'm grumpier than USUAL right now.