I spent $5000 on a boob job for my wife. She was delighted. I spent another $2,000 on a nose job for her. She was ecstatic. I spent $2,000 on liposuction for her and she couldn't thank me enough! But I spent 50 bucks on a blow job for myself and she goes fucking nuts! Women, I can't figure them out!
~ ~ ~
Dear Dr. Phil,
I was watching my next door neighbor's wife
sunbathing topless from my bedroom window. As I was jerking off, I
turned to notice my wife was just standing there, arms folded, watching
me. Is she a pervert of what?
~ ~ ~
A mother-in-law said to her son's wife when their
baby was born: "I don't mean to be rude, but he doesn't look anything
like my son.
The daughter-in-law lifted her skirt and said: I Don't mean to be rude either, but this is a pussy, not a fucking photocopier.
Late Nite Humor - Leno
How many are worried about a government shutdown? How many are more worried about it starting back up?
I'm glad the government has shut down. Think
about it, for the first time in years it's safe to talk on the phone and
send emails without anybody listening in...