Monday, June 4, 2012

Two-Line Poetry Competition


             

      
THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:

1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: Marrying you has screwed up my life.
2. I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming.
3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.
5. I thought that I could love no other ...
that is, until I met your brother.
6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting,the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head.
7. I want to feel your sweet embrace; But don't take that paper bag off your face.
8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes.
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
9. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?
10. My feelings for you no words can tell, Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'
11. What inspired this amorous rhyme? Two parts vodka, one part lime.
WHO SAID POETRY IS BORING?

13 comments:

And lick my balls said...

Hickory Dickory Dock.

Suck my COCK.

Schteveo said...

srk,
I blew ice water outta my nose on two of the poems. I guess they do know good journalism at WaPo.

______________________________

almb,
If you're going to quote the Dice Man, at least get it right.

Hickory, Dickory Dock that bitch Red Riding Hood, sucks a mean...

(but you can make the point without actually writing the word...see, I did...)

(and some of us wondered why the ladies left...any more guesses needed)

(And while I'm about it, I think we need some house cleaning. Freedom of Speech doesn't mean you can continually say balls and cock in a crowded blog. Enough is enough.)

(clean it up, or I start removing your comments...and I'm not looking for 'consensus' here, this is not a debate about global warming)

Lick my Dice said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Schteveo said...

By Blog Administrator, it means ME.

Schteveo said...

And I deleted those, just for the halibut!

Anonymous said...

No sense of humor... :(

U 505 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Der Field Marshal Intz Shteverino said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Tuna Finger said...

And who could possibly argue with that?

Anonymous said...

It's getting weird around here.

Is that a sardine in your pants or... said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Schteveo said...

Anon,
it's not a lack of a sense of humor, I'm a very fun loving kinda guy. I'm killing that crap as it's someone being fed up with asinine and childish stupidity.

And I'm an Admin, so I CAN kill comments, so I do!

alan said...

Good on ya Steve.