A man goes into the hospital for a vasectomy. Before the procedure a
very attractive nurse comes in and takes his vitals, then tells him to
take all of his clothes off.
When he is fully undressed she
instructs him to lie down on the table. The man obeys. The nurse then
takes all of her clothes off and climbs on top and has her way with him.
Upon the completion of the act the man catches his breath and
asks what that was all about. The nurse informs the patient that
studies have shown that before a vasectomy if the man has an
ejaculation, he will be more relaxed and that the cord is easier for
the surgeon to locate and sever, thereby making the surgery safer, more
efficient and quicker.
The nurse then wheels the patient to the operating room.
While they are going down the hall the patient looks through a window to the right and sees six men in a room masturbating.
Curious, the man asks," What are they doing in there"?
The nurse responds, " They're preparing for vasectomies too, but you STILL have your Blue Cross, and they opted for ObamaCare!!"
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Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to New York.
The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So, sit back, relax, and ... OH MY GOD!"
Silence followed.
Some moments later, the captain came back on the intercom. "Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm sorry if I startled you. While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"
From the back of the plane, an Irish passenger yelled... "For the luva Jesus... you should see the back of mine!"
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