Thursday, September 24, 2009

But does she sleep in the driveway, between the trashcans?

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There are sick moments in America periodically. But this one ZOOMS to the top of the list.
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'Homeless' doll costs $95

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Barbie she's not. Meet Gwen Thompson, the newest addition to the American Girl canon of dolls -- the wildly suc cessful, extremely expensive brand of faux children that are sold out of a four-story town house in the heart of Fifth Avenue.

Little children as young as 4 are addicted to these pricey little monsters. It's like middle-American crack.

You have an African-American doll, an American Indian doll. A Jewish one. A doll who "lived" during the Great Depression, and one from the Roaring '20s.

And while you were snoozing, the creators of American Girl, which is sold by Mattel, got bold. They engaged in all-out political indoctrination.
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Snuck into the collection is a doll that comes with a biography that is weird and potentially offensive enough to keep Mom running to the Maalox. Gwen, you see, is harboring a terrible secret.

She is homeless. A homeless doll.

In the history books that come with every American Girl doll -- bringing to life these little monsters until impressionable little ones believe they are actual people -- you learn that Gwen's father walked out on the family. Her mother lost her job.

As the little kiddies learn to read about this doll as if she's a human being, one learns that, as fall turned into winter, Gwen's mom lost her grip.

Mother and daughter started bedding down in a car.

For $95 -- more than your average homeless person would dream of spending on a rather mediocre baby substitute -- Gwen Thompson can be yours. A mixed message if ever there was one.

If you'd like a doll desk, doll horse, doll clothes, doll trunk, a medical kit -- suitable for pretending to administer doll drugs -- that will cost you extra. A lot extra. Did I mention how wildly successful this series is?

I'd heard about this doll from a friend, and walked into the American Girl store in Midtown to investigate. I found not a store, but a cult.
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You've got to get the Little Darling in your life one of these, don't you think? How else will they learn how lucky they are, if NOT from a $95.00 toy?
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Schteveo is thankful to have Sons and Grandsons
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11 comments:

"Grammie" or whatever name he wants to call me!! said...

Are they donating ALL the profits to the homeless?

Schteveo said...

Not no, but I expect, HELL NO, would be their answer.

The only people I know who are "collecting" these things are the hoity toity libs. Most of the conservatives I know aren't giving $100-BTW-you-can't-really-play-with-it dolls as gifts to children.

Go figure.

Gulp My Poot said...

Do she swaller?

Schteveo said...

Poots,
it says she's homeless, it says nothing about her, or the homeless mom, being a "crack ho" or a "chickenhead".

But anything's possible I guess.

There is a doll that sucks though. Click my name

Dolls2Poots said...

The doll that suckks... think I saw that one on South Park!

Actually Shteever-ino, the thought of CLICKING ON YOU kind of put me off me cups.

Roight Mate!

O and I'd wager that Missy would choke one down herseff for less than $95!

Anonymous said...

Do you blow this doll up with a bicycle pump?

srk said...

Steve: It's about time you put away your dolls....except, maybe for Bambi Bimbo blow up extravaganza, just like the real thing, doll.

BOW said...

looks like I arrived late to this party..

Spider said...

For $95. you could get a real doll. Well, for an hour anyway.

This just proves that P.T. Barnum was 100% right.

srk said...

Car sold separately...(and forget about parking)

Missy said...

Does it come with a shopping cart? I LOVE shopping carts!