Friday, February 18, 2011

Friday Foolishness

Proving once again that no region has a monopoly on idiotry.


Feel like a valedictorian?

I handed the teller at my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00.
I said "May I have large bills, please"
She looked at me and said "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size."

When I got up off the floor I explained it to her....


IDIOT SIGHTING #1

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to
pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.

We went to the service department and found a mechanic working
feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the
passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered
that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!'

His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.'

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS.



IDIOT SIGHTING #2

We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that
we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.

I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.

He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.'
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.

He said, 'NO, it's not… Four is larger than two.'

We haven't used Sears repair since.



IDIOT SIGHTING #3

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill.

Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.

She said, 'you gave me too much money.'

I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back. She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request.

I did so, and he handed me back the quarter and said,
'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.'

The manager then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.



IDIOT SIGHTING #4

I live in a semi rural area.

We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING
sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!

I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

From Kingman, KS.



IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE #5

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.

She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.

-- From Kansas City.


IDIOT SIGHTING #6
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,

'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'

To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'

He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

Happened in Birmingham, Ala.


IDIOT SIGHTING #7

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.

I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine.

She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.

I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.

Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?'


She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS.



IDIOT SIGHTING #8

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,' our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.


This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.



IDIOT SIGHTING #9

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into
itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her
system would not turn on.


A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.
.
.
Schteveo

4 comments:

Spider said...

And the scary part is, they actually walk among us.

Schteveo said...

Walk? They drive and VOTE too!

And I went and looked in his resume, but I couldn't find out when Obama was a Mngr at McDonald's. But his money sense hasn't changed, he's still giving out more than he takes in.

Spider said...

He tried out for french fry mgr. at McD's but was turned away for his inability to comprehend the task, and also for trying to organize the french-fry people and the pickle and onion people.

CW FINGERPOOT 45 said...

As I strap the CW 45 on to go out:

The Gun is Civilization

by Maj. L. Caudill USMC (Ret)

Human beings only have two ways to deal with one another: reason and
force. If you want me to do something for you, you have a choice of either
convincing me via argument, or force me to do your bidding under threat of
force. Every human interaction falls into one of those two categories,
without exception. Reason or force, that's it.

In a truly moral and civilized society, people exclusively interact
through persuasion. Force has no place as a valid method of social
interaction, and the only thing that removes force from the menu is the
personal firearm, as paradoxical as it may sound to some.

When I carry a gun, you cannot deal with me by force. You have to use
reason and try to persuade me, because I have a way to negate your threat
or employment of force.

The gun is the only personal weapon that puts a 100-pound woman on equal
footing with a 220-pound mugger, a 75-year old retiree on equal footing
with a 19-year old gang banger, and a single guy on equal footing with a
carload of drunk guys with baseball bats. The gun removes the disparity in
physical strength, size, or numbers between a potential attacker and a
defender.

There are plenty of people who consider the gun as the source of bad force
equations. These are the people who think that we'd be more civilized if
all guns were removed from society, because a firearm makes it easier for
a [armed] mugger to do his job. That, of course, is only true if the
mugger's potential victims are mostly disarmed either by choice or by
legislative fiat--it has no validity when most of a mugger's potential
marks are armed.

People who argue for the banning of arms ask for automatic rule by the
young, the strong, and the many, and that's the exact opposite of a
civilized society. A mugger, even an armed one, can only make a successful
living in a society where the state has granted him a force monopoly.

Then there's the argument that the gun makes confrontations lethal that
otherwise would only result in injury. This argument is fallacious in
several ways. Without guns involved, confrontations are won by the
physically superior party inflicting overwhelming injury on the loser.

People who think that fists, bats, sticks, or stones don't constitute
lethal force watch too much TV, where people take beatings and come out of
it with a bloody lip at worst. The fact that the gun makes lethal force
easier works solely in favor of the weaker defender, not the stronger
attacker. If both are armed, the field is level.

The gun is the only weapon that's as lethal in the hands of an
octogenarian as it is in the hands of a weight lifter. It simply wouldn't
work as well as a force equalizer if it wasn't both lethal and easily
employable.

When I carry a gun, I don't do so because I am looking for a fight, but
because I'm looking to be left alone. The gun at my side means that I
cannot be forced, only persuaded. I don't carry it because I'm afraid, but
because it enables me to be unafraid. It doesn't limit the actions of
those who would interact with me through reason, only the actions of those
who would do so by force. It removes force from the equation... and that's
why carrying a gun is a civilized act.



By Maj. L. Caudill USMC (Ret)