Tuesday, January 25, 2011

In honor of lost Fridays!!

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes , RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy,

"If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers,

"Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone , and surfs to a
NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA
satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and
exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the
image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an
MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech,
miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says,

"You have exactly 1,586 'critters' in this herd," he slurred making fun of Bud's accent.

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with
amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man,

"Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The yuppie nods a yes.

"You're an aide in the Obama Administration", says Bud.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep. ...NOW give me back my damn dog."


Spider said...


Yes, i did catch the last 45 minutes of Obummer's performance. It was as i thought, what most campaign speechs usually are, theatrics and bullshit. IMO he has no intention of changing what he's been doing for two years, and he appears quite confident that he can con the American people. Again.

Schteveo said...

I guess what gets under my skin is that ALL our recent leaders think the State of the Union is an opportunity to tell us what they'll do, try to do, NEXT.

I wish some truthful person (Palin, Paul, Jindal,and now Paul Ryan) would get up there and give us numbers and facts.

Even the Obama voters in ATLANTA knew the economy is still screwed up, but dumb ass went all giddy about how much better things are.


There are more people out of work and more foreclosures DAILY than there were two years ago when he took the job!!!

How is that better?