Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Taxes and Beers; or Pizzas; or Candy Bars

I looked up the authorship of this at Snopes, the jury is out on who wrote it, but it still works!! Want to teach the kids, make it candy bars.
This is the best explanation I’ve ever seen for this country’s tax situation:

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this...

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1
The sixth would pay $3
The seventh would pay $7
The eighth would pay $12
The ninth would pay $18
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59
So, that's what they decided to do.

The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve ball. "Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20." Drinks for the ten men would now cost just $80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes. So the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free.

But what about the other six men? The paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his fair share?

They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer.

So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by a higher percentage the poorer he was, to follow the principle of the tax system they had been using, and he proceeded to work out the amounts he suggested that each should now pay.

And so the fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% saving).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33% saving).
The seventh now paid $5 instead of $7 (28% saving).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% saving).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% saving).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% saving).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But, once outside the bar, the men began to compare their savings.

"I only got a dollar out of the $20 saving," declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man, ´but he got $10!"

"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a dollar too. It's unfair that he got ten times more benefit than me!"

"That's true!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get $10 back, when I got only $2? The wealthy get all the breaks!"

"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison, "we didn't get anything at all. This new tax system exploits the poor!"

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had their beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill.

And that, boys and girls, journalists and government ministers, is how our tax system works. The people who already pay the highest taxes will naturally get the most benefit from a tax reduction.

Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas, where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

It just doesn't get any better than that for simplicity. Does it? I'm thinking of sending this to ALL the Democrats in the country.


srk said...

It has to be beer. The President has beer summits. Pizza and candy are sooner to be outlawed. Just ask the Crisco Tzar, Michelle. (Criso = fat in the can)

Der Schlickster said...

Yeah but Monicas' still suikin my schlonger.

TingleLeg Mathews said...

Relax every the Head Ubangi plays golf, it saves the country $557,000,000.

Ol Dude in Hawaii says can't find Bammers Birth Cert.

Lot of red liberal faces when the Birthers turn out ty be right. Might be a nice neat way out of ObankrupysyCare if he was never Pres.

O and BTW............ EAT ME!!!!!!!!

Spider said...

Charlie Rangel does my taxes.

Anonymous said...

"Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule—and both commonly succeed, and are right... The United States has never developed an aristocracy really disinterested or an intelligentsia really intelligent. Its history is simply a record of vacillations between two gangs of frauds." -- H. L. Mencken

Schteveo said...

Menken? You're quoting Menken? Seriously?!

The guy was an elitist snob. He was the Bill Maher of his day. He thought WWII was a bad idea!! Menken was no lover of Democracy, distrusted Fascism and thought Communism was dangerous.

Well, Skippy, what does that leave? Ah...Aristocracy Rule. That brings us back to Maher, doesn't it? Menken called the middle classes the "Booboisie". Again, right in line with our present elitists.

All this guy needed was a fast jet and HE would have coined the phrase "fly over".

Menken, seriously!?