Tuesday, February 9, 2010

USDA announces Heffalump Breeding Office

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The Obama Administration announced today, that the USDA will open a Heffalump Breeding Office in Ashdown Forest. The purpose of the office is to clarify and identify any possible long term needs or even necessities of breeding heffalumps, given the current economic boom in America. Director of the new department will be A.A. Milne.
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Mr. Milne is a world renowned expert on heffalumps and will have responsibility for giving the American public the "relevant and timely information" about heffalumps and "to inform decision-making about virtually all aspects of their lives", with respect to heffalump breeding, sales and a possible heffalump futures market.
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Economic boom? HEFFALUMPS!!?
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Hey, it's no dumber than this. And there is no less fictitious a need, IMHO. Humble hell.
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The Obama administration is in the process of forming a new government agency dedicated to addressing the impending doom of global warming:

U.S. Commerce Secretary Gary Locke today announced the intent to create a [National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration] Climate Service line office dedicated to bringing together the agency’s strong climate science and service delivery capabilities.

Apparently there is a big demand from the American public for "relevant and timely information" about global warming "to inform decision-making about virtually all aspects of their lives"--such a big demand, we need a new government agency to manage it.

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Do you ever question how these "woozles" ever got into control? I sure as hell do.
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I watched "Seven Days in May" last night. May is coming and I hope "Gen. Scott" is alive and kicking at the Pentagon, I'm with him on this one!
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Schteveo, reporting from the Hundred-Acre Wood

5 comments:

Spider said...

I watched that movie also. Again. And as always, i'm with Gen. Scott! Weak, incompetent, directionless governments (sound familiar?) must be removed from power, else the country will suffer for generations, assuming we survive.

By now, the entire world knows that Obummer is an empty suit. He's all smoke and mirrors, which is why Iran's going full speed ahead with it's nuke program. Because of our weak and misguided foreign policy, Iran (and our other enemies) have been playing for time, while playing us for the suckers and fools that we are.

The WH has now conceded that Iran will become a nuclear power. What that means is, about two days later, so will Al Qaeda. America will be destryoed by it's own corrupt, incompetent elected officials, and it's weak, mindless voters.

BTW, being a big-city guy, i have no idea what a "Heffalump" is, although i think it may be something that belongs on my BBQ grill.

Jimbo said...

This could be HUGE for us in civil engineering.

Afterall, with the rising oceans, all coastal cities and infrastructer will have to be relocated UPHILL, or otherwise protected with seawalls.

I should have plenty of work for the rest of my life!

Yee-HAW!

PS - I though a heffalump was a cowpatty.

Schteveo said...

I thought you guys had kids? A "heffalump" is an imaginary creature, from the A.A. Milne stories about Winnie the Pooh, and his pals, who all lived in the Hundred-Acre Wood.

This was my attempt at political humor, via literature. I never thought I'd out "book smart" this crowd.

Anonymous said...

Stick to Playboy!

CTjayhawker said...

Oh, bother.