Hi, All.
For those of you who don't know, my name is Chuck. I have a favor to ask.
You guys are kind of like my little, crazy online family, and we talk about pretty much everything.
Right now, my wife and I are going through a pretty tough time. Suffice it to say that, at this point, I seem to be the only one fighting to keep everything together. I'd just like to ask those of you that pray to please do so--that the Lord will guide my words and actions, and that He'll open her heart to them. Those of you that don't--well, just send whatever well-wishes my way that you can. Anything is appreciated.
Thanks.
Chuck
19 comments:
You and your family will be in my prayers, Chuck. May God bless you.
Chuck, I'll be praying for you and your family as well. God be with you both.
That's what friends are for.
I need you guys to pray for me too. I'm getting married later this year. It didn't work out too well fo me last time but I think I found a winner this time. Together we have 5 kids (Brady Bunch -Bobby). Having a large family is more fun than I thought it would be.
Thanks everybody.
CT -
I've been married over 25 years - rough and rocky road - we were "on the brink" more times than I like to remember. I know what you're going through.
I respect your tenacity and prayer request. You've got mine.
I've been married for 23 years (41 to two different women). What nobody tells us is that having a good marriage is a lot of work. We're somehow socialized into thinking that we should intuitively know how to have an honest, open relationship without ever having been taught.
My prayers are with you and your family also. Nerd is right. The gal thinks the marriage will be like it was for her parents and the guy thinks it will be like his parents. News flash: it isn't either way! Then you throw in unrealistic expectation that each partner has for the other and you have one big mess. You are two different people trying to make it work and it is not easy. Are there any churches in your area doing the Fire Proof study. I have heard that this is a really good movie, but also the study that goes with it is excellent. It would be worth looking into. God's blessing and strength to you both.
Mine were just sent and I'll keep it going. Hang in there Chuck.
(Me and Mrs. Schteveo have married 35 years. Or is it 350, I can never keep that straight, hmmm)
Some of it's been magic, some of it's been tragic, but it's been a good life just the same. Just when we thought we'd gotten our heads above water, kids grown, out of the house but not in jail, good jobs, money coming in steadily, I got sick and she lost her job at Nortel. In 14 months we went from combined 6 figure incomes, to zero incomes. They took our house, our cars and we went bankrupt. I started telling people we started with nothing and we had most of it left.
We've survived infidelity, insanity, alcohol, drugs, family feuds and poor health. But we did it, together, ultimately. Sometimes you've got to prop the other guy up so you can stand back to back. But it's worth it. You gotta rely on friends for earthly support and God for that and more.
But with his help, it's doable. Hang in there.
Abu,
life sucks alone. I spent enough years traveling for business to know that. I grew up with two brothers and a sister. My wife had two sisters and a brother. I think big families rock. I can't imagine being an only child, they're always SO weird.
Do it, live it, build it. Good luck.
Chuck, i can tell you from my own experience that you can't rely on God or anyone else to solve your problems. That's something only you and your wife can do, assuming you both truly want to. It takes understanding, a willingness to listen, and above all, total honesty from both of you. Even then there are no guarantees. Remember, if two people are not "truly" happy with each other, then the marriage is a lie.
Whatever the outcome, i wish you both the very best.
Three words:
Two master suites. (I snore - she has wrestless leg syndrom.)
Hey - It worked for me (us). Not to mention - me working 5,000 miles from home - we talk & email more now on the phone than we did for years living in the same house.
Fire Proof study
What's that, CFC? My ex and I went to a Marriage Encounter weekend the Methodist Church held shortly before we got divorced (99% my fault). No, not infidelity.
Oh, yeah, a CPAP machine probably saved our marriage and my life in the bargain. Had it for 15 years. Before, about 7 nights out of 10, I'd wake up and Mrs. nerd would be sleeping in the spare bedroom because of my snoring. She said it sounded like a den of grizzly bears. Turns out I had sleep apnea (killed Reggie White). Very common to big, fat guys like me.
nerd,
I think CFC was referring to the "Fireproof" movie and the marriage help resources currently used by some churches for marriage relationship building:
http://www.fireproofthemovie.com/
http://www.fireproofmymarriage.com/
Pray to me
Thanks, Hornet.
Having the same mate for life is an unnatural act in the animal world and occures only very rarely. Yet we humans believe we can find what is basically a total stranger, and after a relatively brief period of time, spend a lifetime together, and expect to be happy. The fact that there are more divorces than marriages, and fewer truly happy marriages than unhappy ones, says volumes about the expectations of humans.
Good point. I had a friend who was a minister, a real one, not just one of those guys like Charles Colson who saw the light while he was in prison. He'd graduated from Brite School of Divinity at TCU. He argued that mankind was not designed to be monogamous-maybe serially monogamous, but certainly not designed to be married to the same mate for life. I don't know why not. Geese and wolves mate for life.
But you're right. Great expectations, especially regarding the behavior of others is bound to let us down. In the end, we all have feet of clay.
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