Thursday, February 19, 2009

The Mayans said 2012

When will the world end? The Mayans said December 2012.
But check out today's headlines on Drudge. It looks to me like it could be next month!

Chuck's marriage in trouble
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STOCKS HIT 6-YEAR LOW...
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UNITED NATIONS: IRAN HAS ENOUGH URANIUM FOR NUKE BOMB
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NY TIMES Stock Now Costs Less Than Sunday Paper...
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Sharpton, Activists Protest NY POST Cartoon...
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Oklahoma City police pull man over for anti-Obama sign on vehicle...
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Some Republican Governors Balk At Stimulus Cash...
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SC gov says he'll take it, despite misgivings...
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ROVE: Team Obama 'winging it on issues large and small'...
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DEEP BREATH: Obama Expected to Regulate Carbon Dioxide?
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Czech president compares EU to Soviet Union...
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3rd earthquake in 3 weeks rattles NJ...
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Mysterious hot metal falls from sky, crashes through business; FAA investigating...
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Woman impregnated -- with wrong egg...
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Netanyahu gets endorsement from right in Israel...
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IT'S HERE: INFLATION TAKES BIGGEST JUMP IN 6 MONTHS...
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FEDS ACCUSE UBS BANK OF HELPING TAXPAYERS GO OFFSHORE... 52,000 CUSTOMERS HID ACCOUNTS... DEVELOPING...
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Bank secrecy threatened...
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Credit-crunched billionaire asks for deposit back -- on world's most expensive house!
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REPORT: Elderly wrestling legend investigated in death of nursing home roommate...
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CHIMP CHRONICLES: 'WHAT SHE HAD WITH THAT MONKEY WAS NOT NORMAL'...
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AP: Democrats self-destructing over ethics...
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Cops clock man driving 137 mph in '93 Honda Civic...
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TRADERS REVOLT: CNBC HOST CALLS FOR NEW 'TEA PARTY'; CHICAGO FLOOR MOCKS OBAMA PLAN...
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High School Kids Question Obama During Speech: 'I just don't believe all the things he's telling us'... [Whoa! Those kids would go to Jail in OKC!]
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ATTORNEY GENERAL: USA 'nation of cowards' on race...
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Drought-stricken China seeds clouds... and it snows in Beijing...
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Accused Financier Under Federal Drug Investigation...
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Charges Spark Run On Banks...
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Rush To Withdraw Cash...
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POPE WARNS PELOSI: CATHOLIC POLITICIANS MUST PROTECT LIFE...
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North Dakota House Passes Abortion Ban...
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SHOCK: Man kills himself in Schuller's Crystal Cathedral...
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School Board sets homework limits...
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Search engine accuses GOOGLE of antitrust violations...
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GOOGLE Earth reveals secret history of US base in Pakistan...
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Okay, okay - CTJayhawker's problems aren't really there...
BUT THE REST ARE!
We're FREAKING DOOMED!
Here, the world is ending and BOW is going to miss it by sitting on some Costa Rican beach. The bum. And WHERE IS POOTS?
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14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Once upon a time lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts.

Nick the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them, but he had to try.

One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, the King's chief doctor. Horatio thought about this and said that he could arrange for Nick to more than satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause, Nick readily agreed to the scheme.

The next day, Horatio made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's bra while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that, among all of the citizens of the kingdom, only the saliva of Nick would work as the antidote to cure the itch.

The King, eager to help his Queen, quickly summoned Nick to their chambers. Horatio then slipped Nick the antidote for the itching powder, which he put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick worked passionately on the Queen's large and magnificent breasts. The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick left satisfied and hailed as a hero.

Upon returning to his chamber, Nick found Horatio demanding his payment of 1000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Nick couldn't have cared less knowing that Horatio could never report this matter to the King and with a laugh told him to get lost. The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King' s underwear. The King immediately summoned Nick ..

The moral of the story -

Pay your bills

Blue said...

are they blaming Bush or Obama?

Blue said...

most people misunderstand the Mayans & 2012 - their calendar does not end in 2012, it just starts all over!!!


think of am archaeologist 2,000 years from now picking up a 1999 Playboy calendar...they could conclude that we thought the world would end Dec 31st 1999 and that wye worshiped big breasts.......

nerd said...

We don't?

"Grammie" or whatever name he wants to call me!! said...

Grim. It's all very grim.

Schteveo said...

Senor Blue is correcto abouto de Mayan calendarero.

(impressed with my Spanish are ya)

What they believed was that at the end of the calendar, there would be some cataclysm and the world would come to an end, then it would start over. Some few people would survive to restart the world. Who do you suppose will survive, well armed fat cat conservatives, or low body fat, save the seals, vegan peaceniks?

(I actually have some recipes for vegan peacenik. you just have to slow cook them like a pot roast because they are dry and stringy)

Schteveo said...

wrong button alert


The Mayans set a date, most religious books don't or won't do that. The book I rely on says things like, it will come like a thief in the night, no man knows the hour, wars and rumors of wars, men claiming powers, things done in God's name, etc, etc, etc. You know the book.

I'm as prepared for Dec 21st, 2012 just as I am prepared for food riots, and economic hate and discontent via the Obamanation.

Fairly well. And due to stay that way.

nerd said...

Obama Expected to Regulate Carbon Dioxide?

Does that mean he's going to stop all volcanic activity and the farting of ruminants?

Jimbo said...

Nerd -
He's going to plug our butts.

The meaning of which is already quite obvious.

Anonymous said...

As i reported the other day, Poots is home and on the mend, and says he'll be joining us soon. So beware!

Jimbo said...

Sorry I missed that post, Spidey.

"On the mend". Hmmm. To me - 35 years ago - that meant a Friday night with a case of beer, some magic mushrooms, and a pretty girl.

*sigh*

Jimbo said...

"Woman impregnated -- with wrong egg..."

They should keep the chicken eggs in a different refrigerator so that doesn't happen.

What?

Schteveo said...

Jimbo,
with Brother Snorpht it NOW means, a Friday night with a case of beer, some pharmaceutical grade, insurance co-payed, Dr approved pain meds, and a pretty (Chinese) girl.

On the whole, not a bad night IMHO.

Jimbo said...

*sigh*