Let's have some fun

.
Here's an article about two nuclear submarines that collided in the ocean. One British and one French, so I don't care about the consequences, let's see how funny it gets. But be assured, here are two job openings, probably more, but at least two.
.

Here are some titles I came up with,
.
.
Like two ships, not quite, passing in the night.
.
Things that go bump, then BOOM, in the night.
.
.
'ave a go, mon ami, see what you can come up with, s'il vous plaît.
.
.
Schteveo