I never experienced the Big O until I was 37-years old and divorced from old what's-his-name. I grew up in the time when nice girls didn't. Didn't what, you ask? Didn't have sex, especially didn't have oral sex, didn't "touch ourselves down there" and most of all, did not enjoy sex. I was a virgin on my [first] wedding night and completely missed the sexual revolution of the 1970s.
But [and it's a big but] I never got AIDS, herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, condyloma, Kaposi's sarcoma, candiadiasis, cryptosporidiosis, cytomegalovirus or hep C either.
Gee darlin, i thought you country girls started early and didn't stop.
We did, sweetie. It's just that I was raised in a strict Baptist home and was scared of going to hell. Apparently, not everyone was as cowardly as I. My BFF, Mary Jo Clark purloined away my squeeze, Sonny because she put out and I didn't. God bless 'em, they've been married since 1963. Had I been successful at roping, hogtying and dragging the elusive Sonny to the altar, I would have blown my brains out long ago. I simply cannot see myself married to the local farm implement dealer for 45 years and living in Maypearl, TX [pop 600] for the rest of my life.
It was just when I reached the ripe old age of 37, got divorced and learned that my plumbing worked that I was like a kid in a candy store...much to Jack's and my continuing delight.
Oh yes, Mr. Snorphty...
I did forget those vicious little buggers! But, i hear that you can pick those up anywhere.
14 comments:
bull's eye every time
Boys, boys, boys. Me thinks you think to highly of yourselves!
I'm a legend in my own mind...I mean time!
Gee, i'm still looking for it. :(
I'm recusing myself on this one. I'm not perfect, yet, but I practice as often as possible.
I never experienced the Big O until I was 37-years old and divorced from old what's-his-name. I grew up in the time when nice girls didn't. Didn't what, you ask? Didn't have sex, especially didn't have oral sex, didn't "touch ourselves down there" and most of all, did not enjoy sex. I was a virgin on my [first] wedding night and completely missed the sexual revolution of the 1970s.
But [and it's a big but] I never got AIDS, herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, condyloma, Kaposi's sarcoma, candiadiasis, cryptosporidiosis, cytomegalovirus or hep C either.
I think I missed my true calling
...and what would that calling be, pray tell?
Generally, if you recall, I'm a man of few words.
Gee darlin, i thought you country girls started early and didn't stop.
And remember what Bubba said. Oral sex is NOT sex! The problem is, the only women who fall for that are liberals.
Forgot crabs Annie.
Gee darlin, i thought you country girls started early and didn't stop.
We did, sweetie. It's just that I was raised in a strict Baptist home and was scared of going to hell. Apparently, not everyone was as cowardly as I. My BFF, Mary Jo Clark purloined away my squeeze, Sonny because she put out and I didn't. God bless 'em, they've been married since 1963. Had I been successful at roping, hogtying and dragging the elusive Sonny to the altar, I would have blown my brains out long ago. I simply cannot see myself married to the local farm implement dealer for 45 years and living in Maypearl, TX [pop 600] for the rest of my life.
It was just when I reached the ripe old age of 37, got divorced and learned that my plumbing worked that I was like a kid in a candy store...much to Jack's and my continuing delight.
Oh yes, Mr. Snorphty...
I did forget those vicious little buggers! But, i hear that you can pick those up anywhere.
...like the grocery store, on aisle 11.
Think thats good? You ain't seen nothin yet!
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,470867,00.html
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