Why I Think Self-Esteem Has to Be Earned

I've posted on here almost ad nauseum about the "self-esteem" movement (and yes, those are "sneer quotes") that has teachers, instructors, and mentors in America today pushing our children to feel good about themselves no matter what.

The problem is that humans are hard-wired by God or evolution or whatever to ACCOMPLISH; to do good things for other people. The issue boils down to one simple idea:

Self-esteem, and thus, by extension, the ability to like and respect yourself, can only come after you've done something that makes you likeable and respectable.

You have to earn the ability to like yourself.

I think that by teaching people to like themselves no matter what, even if they are (as they put it on Scrubs) bastard-coated bastards with a creamy bastard filling, we've created an entire generation of people that feel as though they DESERVE acceptance; that they DESERVE approval; that they DESERVE rewards for basically accomplishing nothing, and through it all, they are sorrowfully unhappy with their lives, because they never seem to figure out why they are such great people but no one likes them (because they really are not very great at all, in truth, and what is more, THEY KNOW IT).

We need to re-focus. We need to begin to teach our kids the truth, which is that you find approval from society and self through your deeds and accomplishments. This is the hard-wired truth of our nature. You can't eliminate the need to accomplish through social engineering, or through educational conditioning. A child convinced that they can feel good about themselves no matter what is on track to being part of the next generation of rapists, murderers, and thieves.

We have to instill the values that my father instilled in me when I was a child:

1.) The true measures of a man's character are the things he does when he thinks no one is looking;
2.) You aren't owed, and are not deserving of, anything but that which you've earned;
3.) You cannot always do for only yourself in good times and then expect someone to help you in bad;
4.) A parent has no higher calling than raising their child right and proper. If you cannot care for a child, and by extension, afford to care for that child, then do the right thing and wait until you can;
5.) Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, but don't hesitate to defend yourself and your family if the need arises;
6.) Problem? Stop whining and take care of it;

What say you?